There is this girl I like a lot, and I asked her out about a month ago. She said that it was bad timing because another guy had just asked he out. She also said that if it wasn't for this other guy she would have loved to "hang out with me". Its been a month and there does not seem to be anything going on between her and this other guy.
The reason I thought I had a chance with her in the first place was because we were hanging out a lot over the summer (playing tennis mostly, but I also went to her house with 2 other close friends for burgers and to swim in her pool). During this time it seemed like she was flirting with me. One example is when, a few weeks before prom, I was only buying a ticket for prom and she asked me who I was going with. I told her that the person I intended to take had a sweet sixteen on the same day and it was her best friends (she goes to a different school). She (the girl I like) said she was really sorry to hear that and that she would have gone with me if she already did not have a date (who just happens to be the same guy that asked her out before I did). There are some other smaller examples of her flirting, like laughing at some of my stupid jokes, etc.
Just so you know a little about me, I'm not the most handsome guy you've ever seen, but I think I make up for it with my personality- I'm compassionate, loyal, and have a good sense of humor. I'm also very laid back which results in my friends making a lot of jokes about me and stuff. I'm not very confident when it comes to girls mostly because of these reasons. So when a beautiful, smart, and funny girl like her started to flirt (at least that's what I think she was doing) with me, and I already liked her, I had to ask her out. Also, just so you know, even though we share a lot of friends, she is also friends with the more "popular kids" like jocks and guys like that, and she seems to flirt quite a bit with them, which makes me both jealous and a bit depressed because I'm not in the same "league" as those guys.
What I am asking is what do all of you think she meant when she said she would have "loved to hang out with me", or that she would have "gone with me to prom" if it wasn't for this other guy? Is she just feeling sorry for me and trying to make me feel better, or let me down easily? Or do you think that she might have had some feelings for me? And what do you think I should do now, should I still try to pursue her because nothing seems to be happening between her and this other guy? What should I do?
It sounds like she's trying to make herself feel better about letting you down. It's like finding out your friend was going to ask you for a ride to the airport but someone else gave them a ride instead, and you say, "Ah, too bad, I would have given you a ride!" While you say that, you're secretly thinking, "Good, I'm off the hook!"
I'm sorry for you, but it happens to everyone so don't feel too bad about it.
she shot you down bro in the oldest nicest manner. you'll hear this a lot later in life. if she really cares, she'll go out of her way to make time for you.
deffinately don't make any advances towards her since it didn't work out with the other dude. that shows desperation. she knows you like her already so why belittle yourself and ask her again
You are at the perfect age to learn a very important lesson. Take notes, because this lesson will improve your life from now on. It's very important:
Don't listen to what girls say. Instead, pay attention to what they do.
In your example, ignore what this girl _says_. Pretend that you're deaf and can only interpret her behavior. You asked her out. She said no because another guy already asked her out ... but she's still flirting with you.
What does that behavior prove about her? Her behavior proves that she's inconsistent. If she was truly interested in the other guy, and truly respected his feelings, she wouldn't flirt with other guys. Her behavior proves that she doesn't want to go out with you. Again, ignore her words -- she might be leading you on, letting you down gently or something else. But her behavior proves that she doesn't want to be with you. If she truly wanted to be with you, nothing would stop her.
My point is that we can get wrapped up in a lot of questions that don't really matter. We can take things like this very personally. But her behavior says _nothing_ about you ... her behavior says _everything_ about her. And her behavior proves that this is probably not a girl who's worth the time that you're worrying and wondering.
So I vote for forgetting about this girl, and finding someone who wants to be with you.
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There is a certain segment of female society who would have us believes that there are no real differences in how women relate, grow, learn or develop. While I will agree that societal conditioning...
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 13 days ago
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