I'm interested in an unhappily married guy friend -- how do I let him know I'm interested?

I believe you and I have a similar situation except the shoe is on the other foot AND I haven't made friends with her husband. Feel free to message me sometime so that we can chat about our dilemmas.

On one hand you are worried that his wife may find out that you made advances, but I'm not hearing the same level of concern when it comes to being discovered later. The first is the less likely scenario in my estimation. Something that goes farther and lasts longer is more likely to be uncovered. I've met guys who seemed to think that they won't be caught. But wives can sense these things and he's shown before that he is capable of cheating. Eventually there is a slip up - if not an email, then something else. Or are you hoping that you would both file for divorce once it's been established that the interested is mutual?

As you say, it is possible that he is reluctant now because you are closer to her. That does complicates things. But it's also possible that once you are unattached, the interest will shift toward another married person. I've seen that happen - someone who only has eyes for one who is already in a relationship. Maybe they like an element of danger or they want to deal with a person who has something to lose and can't demand a lot of attention. Many risks. And as someone else mentioned, he could cheat on you. Coming up next on the Springer show: Husbands who cheat on their mistresses.

Carebear87 touched up on a few good points, however as you mentioned if you and this other guy are both in the same situation as far as marriages go then I don't see the harm in telling this other man how you feel. The part you would have to worry about is how will you approach this man on the subject. I have never been divorced or married but what I do know is admissible evidence that can be found on your computer can be used against you when you go through a divorce.

I know a little more than the average person does when it comes to computers. Did you know that any email that you delete from any time in your life time can still be found in perfect condition. It was rare 10 years ago but not so much in the present day. When you delete an email, a part of it remains on your computer and the whole thing remains on the server used to send the message. It takes 10 times to format the same hard drive just to delete a partial part of actual memory stored. Heck I've formatted my own hard drive 20 times and I still find old files or partial emails that were written almost a decade ago using recovery software. I brought this up because it is a terrible idea to send the man emails about hints that you like him. If you and this man were to get divorced from your mates then you could both be facing some serious costs due to information exchanged online.

So the only option that you have is to tell this man how you feel in person. When and where is what you need to be thinking about. I suggest that since you already know the wife of this man then get together with her and plan a BBQ or some kind of small get together. That way it won't look like you are going out of your way just to have a private conversation with the married man you like. During the party, pay attention to where this man is throughout the get together. When it looks like he is going to be by himself then that is when you approach him and take him to the side so you can discuss your feelings for him. I'm not saying it will be easy but at least you'll have a chance to get your point across without making it look obvious to everyone else that something is going on.

Ok, I'm a lot younger than you, but here's my 2 cents worth. I think that, even tho he's unhappily married, you should not get involved with him. First of all, he is committed to another woman. Second of all, until he divorces, you're basically sharing him with another woman. And third of all, there is a good chance that, even if he started a relationship with you he may never leave his wife. And then you would always be "the other woman. " And also put yourself in his wife's shoes. Do you ever want to be with a man who would do that to you? What if he left her, married you, and then did exactly the same thing to you? I'd let this one be at least until he leaves his wife. I'm not trying to be harsh. But I think you should be very careful in this situation. Hope things work out well, however that is.