Ok so hard question that needs answering. I have known this girl for 3 weeks, I meet with her 3 times.
First time nothing much happened, we simply talked, about random things. Second time we went out with some friends to the movies, whilst getting tickets, I noticed that she was looking at me, and that she was leaning on me. Before I knew it I had my hand around her shoulder, and she had hers around my waist (stayed like this for 5 min).
Third time I met her was with some friends. She held my hand, then she put her arm around my waist. We then went out for dinner (all together), where she kept moving her chair closer to mine. Following this we went for a walk through a park, where we talked and similarly held hands and cuddled. Following this we came back to my place (her, my best friend (male) and me). At my place we sat on the sofa and watched 24, she fell asleep in my arms.
I then put her on my bed, between me and my friend (male). She had no problem with me cuddling her, she even cuddled back and played with my hair. I found, that she spent along time that night looking in my direction. Since then I can't stop thinking about her. She wasn't sure about coming back home with me, because her Dad was out of town (mother has died) and she was afraid, that he would find out and tell her off. Also her older brother was at home with his girlfriend (I don't have to explain what they were doing) and she felt uncomfortable to go home.
We have spoken on "Yahoo messenger" for hours at a time, exchanging stories and disclosing personal information. She has recently (2 weeks ago) broken up from along relationship that had lasted 15 months, and has told me that she likes another boy.
The twist is that she is also older than me and therefore more experienced. I am 18 (virgin - who has only had 1 other girlfriend) and she is 20 (lost virginity age 16)
How do I decode these signals? Should I organize to meet up again? And I think that my male friend has realized that I have feelings for her and has gone and told her (possibly because he is jealous) - what should I do?
Well I really think she likes you but did you ask her so do you like someone? and she said yes I like a boy.What exaclty did you ask her or what did she told you exactly.She could of said yes I like a boy (maybe she was thinking about you).Talk to her and tell her how you really feel.
Anonymous, Does she like you???From the way it sounds YES for sure she does like you. Most likely she's telling you that she likes another guy because she doesn't know how you feel about her if the feeling is mutual and she doesn't want to just put out there yet. I wouldn't worry about your guy friend because if he did tell her and she hasn't mentioned it yet then she's just wants you to make the first move.
You mentioned that she just broke with her ex of 15 months 2 weeks ago. Did she break up with him? Did he break up with her? You should probably find out how that relationship ended because you don't want to end up just being the rebound guy. That's just one thing that kinda bothered me .
Her mother passing...has that happened recently?? Because if so dealing with a death is hard thing to go through and with her break up she is very very vulnerable at this time. Should you meet up with her again? Of course!!! Just make sure you ask her to be honest and straight up with you on how she feels. Ohhh yeah I almost forgot the age difference isn't ALL that big of an issue. It doesn't seem bother her so I wouldn't even stress about that. Hoped I helped you out a little bit!!!
Mother passed away 5 years ago. She broke up with her Ex, they were having problems for 2 months. She broke up with him after meeting me. The Ex has asked her out again, and she has told him NO I think 4/5 times. She told me that she was tired of being the "Teacher"-it was the guys 1st time. I have asked to go to prom with me, but she said NO because the my friend had asked her first and she had rejected him, and that it wouldn't be fair if she came with me as my "date". - 7 months ago
It sounds like this girl does like you. She may be telling you she likes another guy to your face to avoid rejection and see how you'll react. The age gap doesn't seem to be an issue here, however you mentioned that her mother died and she recently broke up with her ex boyfriend of 15 months. So in my opinion I'd be concerned that she may be using you as a rebound guy because she misses the comfort and security of having a male companion/ cuddle partner/ boyfriend. This could especially be the case if she was dumped. Do you know if the split was mutual between her and her ex? How much time has passed since they broke up? Also, the death of her mother. How long ago was that? Was this several years ago or more recently? I 'm just wondering if the traumatic event like losing her mother and breaking up with her ex has made her very vulnerable. Sounds like you are a decent guy, since you didn't take advantage of her at your house. However I also have to wonder about a girl that is going to lay down on the same bed with 2 guys. To answer your question. The signs she likes you. She touches you, gazes at you and moves close to you. Should you meet again? Yes, but you need to ask her to be straight up with you if she feels the same way as you do. Do the meeting one on one without your friend nearby, preferably over coffee or something casual during the day. This girl could be lonely and looking for affection from wherever she can get it. I think it's best to talk to her with a clear head.
Right, from what I have gathered her mother died about 5 years ago.
Regarding her ex, they had problems after the 13th month, and she was trying to break it off with him. My friend was the one who helped her break it off. I have asked both my friend (Tom) and the girl (Emma) if their was something going on between them, and they both said NO and NOWAY. From what I have gathered Emma's ex was similar to me in build, he was slightly shorter thou. Emma and he ex broke up 2 weeks ago. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Based on your updated comments, you definitely could be her rebound. Unless she broke up with her ex to have a shot at being with you. I don't know. Just proceed with caution. Wish you the best. - 7 months ago
First CALM DOWN. Go and rest or something. 2nd, talk to your male friend and tell him how you feel and what you think he is doing. Tell him not to lie and if he does he will rot in hell(thats what I do and I always get the truth). Next talk to your female friend. Ask her if your male friend has told her anything. Then meet with both of them and talk so they can each talk to you together. THERE ARE A BUNCH OF LITTLE HINTS IN THE STORY You WROTE THAT SHE LIKES You. And I bet she does. You sound like a sweet guy. So don't stress to much. Talk to them because communication is the way to get things done. And then its your decision on what to do. They are your friends and so you need to also confront yourself to think about the issues.
Anonymous, please don't take anything I am going to say the wrong way, but there is so much back story here (and not only from you, but each answer too) and so much thought/speculation over a simple question of, "Should I set up another 'date'? "
I respect the fact that you want to go slow (and protect yourself) and that you seem to respect her too and don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position, but there is really only so much forethought that you can put into something before you need to actually act.
There is no doubt that there are sparks here. Now, is she just using you as a rebound, maybe. Is she just with you because of the hardship she has just gone through with losing her mother, possibly. Will you ever truly know the answer unless you actually see her again, no.
Give her a call, let her know how much fun you had, and ask her out again. And when you do see her again, get out of YOUR head, because I guarantee you this, if you spend so much time trying to figure out all of her 'signals' and actions, and emotional state, you are going to miss what is right in front of you.
I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck.
Hey thanks, I sent her a sms, and every night she begins a conv. On yahoo, I told her that I enjoyed it when we went out, and she told me that she also enjoyed it. I will organize to go out with her again sometime next week. This week I have exams(! ). What surprises me thou, is that for someone who likes another guy, we do spend a long time talking on Yahoo (2-3 hours/night). - 7 months ago
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