So three years ago I met a friend at my summer job. We hit it off great and were awesome friends. A couple weeks into our new friendship I realized I liked him--a lot.
One problem - I'm gay.
I will skip lots of details and little things but, very long story short, I had an incredibly strong gut feeling that he liked me back. I haven't had much experience with men but I knew the body language when I saw it. Simply put, I knew he liked me.
Another problem was that he didn't know I was gay. Two big things I just had to tell him, and I couldn't figure out a way to do either. I'd never had a problem coming out before, but I'm sure you can imagine why I was having difficulty this time.
It gets worse--nearing the end of the summer, I knew it was more than 'like'. I was in love with him. I was scared and confused and all I knew was that every time we saw each other or touched (which was often, he's very affectionate)--as cliche as it is--there was electricity. I hadn't uttered a word of it to anyone at work, until I did finally one night--I told a mutual friend about both huge things. Being a lesbian and in love with a man. She shared some of her own personal information and we both swore not to tell. I should have known better.
Four days later this guy goes all silent and broody on me, and only me. He and I didn't have a fight. We'd been doing just fine as friends, great in fact. My gut instinct tells me that the girl I told and his best friend--also female, a girl who I suspect had been finding a way to cockblock all summer--talked to the guy and made something up instead of the truth, or he was just pissed anyway.
Since then, he's never spoken to me. I've called him a couple times, but he ignores the calls. I've tried friending him on facebook, and after over a year, the request is still unanswered (he's on it every couple days or so). He posts lyrics to songs like She Came In Through the Bathroom Window, Her Majesty, or Nirvana songs we both liked on his profile. Right now his selection is Policy of Truth by Depeche Mode, which I must say quite hits home, especially after a couple months ago I tried to apologize. My myspace page count also goes up one or two, only when he's logged in that day. It all seems so stupid and false but these are the only ways I can find any way to contact him, because he refuses to even look at me if we're in the same room (until of course we're across it from each other and I catch him staring).
Even after a few failed relationships in between, I've always known he's the one I wanted, and I still believe he cares about me as well. I know I hurt him, but I can't get him to understand anything I say. I can't get him to respond. My question, especially for guys: is there anything I can do? WHAT can I do? I refuse to give up. I've always given him very obvious hints when I email him, but I've never said it explicitly, should I?
Definitely first thing is now that you know you enjoy the company of this guy, you should start calling yourself bisexual. Lol! Second, you have to be 100% honest about everything with him. Honest with your beginning of being gay, of liking him, of your conversation with the mutual friend, everything! It may take a few tries for you to express this or for him to comprehend. The reason I say be honest is because you are hurting now by sitting in the dark dropping hints, so lay it all out there and at the worst you go back to hurting if he isn't open to the idea and you move on. If he is open then you will be happier than you ever thought possible. You might even find out why he was upset in the first place. And don't blame yourself or anything you did around him. You never hurt him, it sounds as though there was some foul play involved.
You are a now a bisexual and that's sexy XD but anyway the real question is Does that guy you like like gays? I mean different people like different things, if he dislike gays then its up to him to change that view on gays(just like you can't really force someone to believe in god if he doesn't believe in religious), not much you can do in my opinion, sorry =/ you can try explain to him or tell him you want to tell him your bisexual because you love him, and just want to be honest with him and see if he change his mind. If he doesn't talk to you at all, try friend to friend contact? Or ask a friend to ask him to dinner but don't tell him you will be there so at least you get a chance to see him and maybe have time to explain it.
I just wanted to say how eerie your answer was: for awhile I thought he was homophobic but he isn't at all--but the dinner thing is something I have honestly thought about doing, haha. I couldn't bring myself to do it, once you put it in perspective it's kind of a creepy thing to do but it's crossed my mind for sure. Thanks for your help :) - 6 months ago
Answerer
If he isn't homophobic then that's a good start ^^ maybe you could try ask why he's ignoring you from his friends(if you totally can't contact with him) and see if you can change that view. Good luck ^^ - 6 months ago
You are a bisexual and there's nothing wrong with that. You should confront him and tell him you have to talk to him privately. He should be mature enough to hear what you say. You should tell him how you feel, even though there's a chance you might get shut down. The worst thing that could happen is that he still won't talk to you but if things go remotely well, you can repair the broken bridge between the two of you.
Well its okay to like a girl and a guy. I do..... I'm bi sexual. but you should put something up on your page expressing how you feel. make it into a poem or a song. I might not being helpful but I'm trying. good luck!!!
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 6 months ago
asked Yesterday
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