I have a class in college with a guy close to my age. I think he may be around 28. I am 20. I didn't notice him much until I started to catch him staring at me. He makes it obvious that I have his attention. He seems shy, which is fine. However, it has been two weeks since class began and he hasn't started a conversation! He just stares or smiles, or places himself within close proximity. I decided to make the first move, and he responded well, he had a lot to talk about and was surprisingly interesting. However, now he barely acknowledges me verbally. I mean he won't start any conversations! I thought I broke the ice, now he is back to the dreamy stares etc. He seems nervous around me but he is a good looking guy and I wonder why or how I could be making him nervous like that. I am cute and I get a lot of attention but rarely do men get like this around me. What should I do?
If perhaps he is truly shy then would he find the courage to ask me out? (if he liked me enough).
If not, should I ask him out? Or say forget it?
I am so close to leaving this behind me as it is taking way too long. I have many people asking me out but I feel something between him and me that is missing elsewhere And as I said, I barely know him! But I want to. I can't stop thinking about him.
Update: Thank you for your comments, and I hope this may help others. I will update in the next couple days to mention what has happened.
3 months ago
He sounds beyond shy, if you really want to start something with him, I think you need to make the move, really need to make him feel totally comfortable with you. Talk to him a lot, ask or tell him your msn/im/yahoo or even phone number if he doesn't have, this can boost his comfortable a bit.
I don't know why. He is very attractive and seems to be rather smart as well. This is a major part in why I like him. He definitely has a lot going for him. I suppose I will push things a bit, maybe hint some more just to be sure. If he doesn't jump by then I will have to let it close. I am not interested in asking him out. He is either really shy or he is seducing me with his methods that otherwise would be very appealing. But are getting on my nerves. You live once why not jump? - 3 months ago
Some guys get bored of chasing all the time but at the same time the waiting game is not a fun one to play. To be honest I think if he's made it clear he thinks your looking hot then he would appreciate you asking him out as it shows that you genuinely like him. I'm sure you would see a more confident side to him if you did.
I think it s the other way around. He knows I m looking and he should ask me out. I give him hints. I guess I will try a little bit harder to get to know him but I am about to give up. - 3 months ago
Being a shy guy myself, I can suggest that you make another move. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in etiquette, or whatever perceived way we think we need to act, that we don't make the moves we really want to. He probably wants to desperately talk to you or ask you out, but doesn't think he is social enough to do so. Perhaps he expects you are only swept off your feet by a smooth-talker, yet he doesn't even realize he has won you over with the stares and positive attention.
Give asking him out a shot, or at least start conversations with him as there were nothing out of the ordinary about doing so. We shy guys need that bonk on the noggin to realize an opportunity at times. Once he finds a comfort zone with you, I'm sure he will be confident to ask you out and express himself better.
Yes, this makes sense. However, there is something out of the ordinary happening when I start conversations with him. He thinks I'm pursuing him, which I am. He must have some sort of idea that I am interested. I stare at him too and I have been to first to break the ice, along with saying hello to him first. We have a lot in common and I would hate to have this pass me by for the summer. But with that said I still think he should ask me out! He should meet me half way. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Well, considering all the steps you have taken, yes he should put forth some effort as well. Maybe one last thing you could try, even if it's to obtain closure, is to ask him what is going on. Possibly he doesn't want to be in a relationship now, but likes you regardless. Simply putting it out there and asking if he wants to date at this point in his life could work (don't make the question about you, make it a general quesiton, to avoid taking the answer personally). Good luck! - 3 months ago
This guy definitely sounds shy to me. Normally Id say he wasn't that interested, but he keeps giving you looks and doing the 'dreamy stare'. So I assume he's just an extremely shy guy, who probably didn't get hot until he was older. I say you make a move, if not, this guy is way too shy to do something about his feelings, and you'll venture off for a while but soon you'll find yourself wondering 'what if'
Make a move. a-s-k h-i-m o-u-t! Then it'll be in a different setting, maybe coffee, and you'll only have you two and he'll know you're interested and feel less conscious about your feelings towards him ;)
I wouldn't want you to ask him out. Because you spoke to him first you shouldn't have to start the conversation again. But you could kind of help push him along. Wave to him or call him down to where you sit and just say Hi, see if he sets off talking or if you have to push along some more. It's not healthy in a relationship if only one person is fueling the conversation so if this goes on I would say to drop it. But try that. Maybe he'll take some initiative and start coming to you without your gesture of invitation. I think it will work out itself because of the way you described it I don't think it's something that will easily fade.
He's interested. He's shy I mean he doesn't seem to know how to compete with the attention your getting from other guys. Ask him and he will definately say yes
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