Hi I am 25 years old and recently started working for an institute. I am having some personal problems in my life right now. I was feeling very bad when this guy at work started looking at me.
There is one guy at my work place. Although he is not my boss he is holds one of the highest position of the institute . He is married as he wears a ring. He is extremely busy and sometimes he will not take lunch due to meetings and all that. He is not a bad guy or flirty type with other girls as far as I know. He is in his thirties and is a polite and bit proud guy.
Well from the beginning he was looking at me when even he saw me. And he will look at my eyes. He never stared at my body but my eyes. I saw his eyes following me when I walk. He will stare when I talk with other guys. I did not care him in the beginning but I felt shy in front of him. I am a bit taller than him and I am very shy in nature as well. Anyway as days went by I too started looking at his eyes and all that. He used to cough if he meets my eyes from far away. He will scratch his head if he sees me talking to some other guy or sometimes he will yawn. One time I was talking with my one of my colleagues. My Colleague called him and kept on talking with me. So he had to wait for a few seconds. He was scratching his head and then yawned quite loudly. What is with him?
One day he came to talk with me something silly and then went. I behaved professionally that day without letting my feeling show. He never tried to touch me nor talk alone with me. He just keeps on starting at my eyes. He always praises my work. I thought it is better to be friends and started to talk about the work realted issues with him but he did not encourage it. He does his best to send me away from his room or cut short when ever I try to talk. He never calls me by my name. But he replied my emails. I sometimes have to work with him and he will try to help me as he can.He is obliged to help me with my work as it is one of his duties.But recently he kept forgetting about my work. I went to him and request that I need the help. It is a very small job for him. He told he is going t do it immediately and then he did not do. I do not know what is with him. May be he was busy?
When he meets me along he will just say something very formal and leave. One day I directly looked at his eyes he looked at mines and then lowered his eyes and then looked again. One day he was coming behind me. He won't look at me in the eyes when we are in a group.
I really do not know what is going on here. I really like him. I never had a casual relationship before. I know it is not right morally because he is married but then why won’t he be friendly with me? Why can’t he stop looking at me? I can’t get him out of my mind now.
If he really cares about me, won’t he not help me immediately and try to talk with me? I am in a mess. I can’t go to another job right now. Could somebody please explain me what is going on his mind?
Update: I am trying my best act normally and do my job. Thanks for all the help.
6 months ago
It seems to me he finds you attractive and it's bring out his insecurities also he doesn't know how to be himself around you - him being formal not natural. The difference for us guys is we get attracted instantly to females that's why some of us act nervous or shy while it takes time for you(getting to know our personality). I bet he will keep doing this until he sorts himself out .Think what happens when you are around a attractive guy with social status, leader of men, emotional put together and getting attention from other women - similar maybe
Sounds like this isn't his first time playing this way.
Number one, no, no, no and no to relationships of any kind at work. NOTHING, I mean NOTHING good can come from it. Stay away from it, get your holy water, a cross and garlic and stay away from it!
Number two, he's married, and like I said, he's playing a game. I'm sure he's done this sort of thing before, and he's probably doing it now with someone else. He goes after whatever he can get in the office, literally. He's not going to leave his wife for you or anyone else, so just keep cool, delete the feelings and keep your job.
If you pursue this, you will lose your reputation, your job, your confidence, and any trust you have in the opposite sex.
Hi thank you for showing me a whole different side of the problem. I mean what I felt was that he likes me and just doing it only wiht me and all that romantic stuff. But I watched him closely and saw him talking with two other girls as well. The only difference is that he TALKS with them and is not shy with them. - 6 months ago
Answerer
I'd just keep it professional and start looking for a different job as soon as it's feasible. - 6 months ago
I think he likes you but he knows it's wrong that's why he won't say anything. It's like my boss he used to stare at me all the time and even flirted when he could, but I never liked him like a man he was a cool guy. But trust me he won't give it all up (I mean his wife and his kids) he knows what's he's got that's why he won't try anything. Move on and find someone else that's not taken. You're young you'll find someone. As for the job why don't you ask him why he won't be a bit friendly with you maybe he'll give you an aswer then. And about him forgetting your job, he's just a busy person sometimes busy people forget because they got a lot in his head.
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