Help on getting him to notice me

Ok I'm going to try to just put it out there so don't think I'm trying to be mean or anything and that you're doing something wrong. Sorry this is going to seem really unorganized but I'm just gonna spaz type to get it all out.

From what you said it seems like your pretty insecure about yourself. Your boyfriend might have said or done some mean things to you during the relationship or afterwards that would make you question your beauty/personality/self-esteem/everything.

Your constantly worried about what the people around you look like compared to you, and your always comparing yourself to them. You sometimes act a bit more withdrawn around guys when there's other people around that are hotter.

If a guy is flirting with you, it doesn't mean he's doing it out of pity. Frankly, guys don't have the heart to do that kind of thing to girls they don't like. If he's flirting with you he likes you. Maybe he wants to have sex with you, but you have to realize that all relationships start because of a physical attraction. Physical Attraction = I would have sex with her if I got the opportunity. She's ugly = I would not have sex with her if I got the opportunity.

Rule #1 - The hottest girl doesn't always get the guy. It's the ones who take the initiative to flirt with the guy or just make a move in general. You can have a hot cousin, but if your hot cousin doesn't make a move and you do, I'm obviously going to focus my attention on you.

Rule #2 - Your perspective of people being hotter/uglier than you is completely your perspective. Guys have an entire different scale of measuring people. Quick example, me and my friend were going through our yearbook pointing out all the girls we thought were hot today. Some of them were the same, but at least 3/4 of them were different. Different guys have different attractions so don't feel downed about what the people around you look like.

Don't take all the flirting too literal and over-obsess about each detail like almost all girls I know do. It's not about what he said, but moreso the fact that he's flirting with you which means "I like you, I'm interested, please, please, say something back so we can both stop wasting our time and get together."

Which leads me to Rule #3

Rule #3 - Flirting is just talking back and forth taking a little bit more risk in what you say each time, until your both comfortable to admit that you like each other and should go out.


In short, maybe he likes you, maybe he likes all the girls there. In the end it's the people who take the initiative who get somewhere, and the others who end up pondering weeks over the "what if."

It really depends on your actual personality. From the way it sounds, you don't seem like the type who would be really out there outgoing and flirtatious. It's very important you act yourself.

With regards to getting him to notice you, that's when you have to use your own skillsets and personality to your advantage. Sure your cousin is blonde with big breasts and she's super outgoing and flirtatious, but you have things she doesn't. You have mystery. Aspects of you that can lure a guy in because of curiosity.

Also, keep in mind that no amount of flirting, or perfect flirting, will make a guy like like you. If the guy doesn't like you, then he doesn't like you, it's really quite that simple. All flirting is is a method by which two people express some liking, but mainly lust. You could be the most attractive girl in the world and be the world's best flirter, but even then, there will be tons of guys who won't be interested in you. You owe yourself more than just trying to make a guy like you.

The most simple of ways to make a guy know you're interested in him isn't flirting, but communication. Don't distance yourself from him. Engage in conversations as often as you can, try and spend time with him, give him eye contact. The reason shy girls have such a hard time getting the guy they like to notice them is because the guy doesn't even realize the girl exists, and even if the guy does know she exists, he usually thinks she isn't interested in him at all because she won't talk to him.

If you act your personality, and try extra hard to show interest by talking with him and laughing with him a lot, he will notice you. But even then, that doesn't mean he'll start to like you.

However, if you are a flirtatious type of personality, then all of what I've just said is pretty much moot. I'm not really pro with flirting, so I won't be able to help you there.

Anyways, if he likes you, and you speak with him, things will take off, otherwise, if they don't, don't beat yourself up about it, there will be tons of other chances and tons of other guys :)

Hope I've helped at least a little.