so, there's this guy I've been kind of friends with for years. we met once about three years ago and he's been all over the country and we've kind of kept in correspondence. we'd flirt a lot and say stuff, but for the most part he was with this girl for about the past two years. anyway, he came back here for the summer and he broke up with his girlfriend. so we've been talking a lot and finally met up last weekend. we hung out for a while and I spent the night (but there wasn't sex involved, just making out and fooling around). things seemed to go well, and when I left in the morning to go to work, he wanted me to stay. anyway, today I logged onto facebook and I noticed that he was no longer friends with me, so he must've deleted me. I investigated further and noticed that he's also friends with his ex again (who he deleted facebook for when they were dating because it "caused problems" so basically I just want to know what the hell he's doing. I mean, it seemed like things went well when we hung out, but I have no idea what he's thinking. help would be appreciated. thanks.
Is it possible that he didn't realize it would be so easy to get back together with her. It's possible this guy is being manipulated by this girl so badly that he actually feels dependent on their relationship, which would trigger him to drop everything for her. This in turn verifies what she is doing is working, and she'll continue to manipulate him.
While I try to see the innocence in a situation first, I will say this. Just stop talking to this guy. Don't communicate with him anymore, because until he actually out grows or out smarts this girl, he's going to be stuck playing the manipulation game where he is being played with like a toy.
You can't save him, he has to save himself. And clearly another girl to him is just another option, not an equal who can help him.
Yeah, that's very possible. I've decided not to communicate with him any longer. I don't want to talk to him and let him know that it upsets me, because in my opinion, apathy is worse than hate. - 6 months ago
Answerer
That's a pretty smoking phrase at the end. Watch fellas, fire in the hall! - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Kittys got claws - 6 months ago
Answerer
Good thing, I'm on the other side of the fence. Hehe. - 6 months ago
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 6 months ago
All I can think of was that he was sad of the relationship with this other girl screwing up a bit after being together for 2 years, and he sort of came to you for comfort, then sorted his problems out with his ex- but feels awkward about what happened between you and him and didn't want to explain what was going on. Or, maybe even he is just doing it because he got back together with his girlfriend, but didn't want her to find out that you had spent the night and fooled around.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of his friends were at his apartment when we were there, and I'm sure they knew what was going on. one even busted in on us in his drunken stupor and high fived the guy and told me he was having wild dreams about me. so I guess it might be about stuff getting back to her... - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yes, after 2 years, the relationship must have been quite important to him, and if he wanted to get it back and they managed to solve their problems, he would probably pull out all the stops to make sure this doesn't get back to her and it causes further problems between them. You could try putting yourself in his girlfriends shoes, if you had a row after a 2 year relationship and you broke up, then when you finally sort out the problems you had, how would you feel if it then go back to you that - 6 months ago
Answerer
During the time that you were sorting out your problems, your boyfriend 'fooled' around with someone else. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
I can understand that, but it's still a shitty thing to do. so the next question is should I say something to him? and let him know what a douche bag he's being - 6 months ago
Answerer
Do you know his girlfriend? - 6 months ago
Question Asker
No, I don't. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yeh, of course, he is being a complete dick if you are right about it, but maybe you shouldn't put it as straight to him as that. Try telling him that you realized he has deleted you on facebook, and ask why he did that. Also ask him the situation with his ex-. Find out what is going on before you start flaming him for what you think he has done. After all, you don't know for sure why he is doing what he is and perhaps there is a perfectly good explanation. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
What kind of perfectly logical explanation would there even be? - 6 months ago
Answerer
I don't know to be honest. I wrote what I think was going on, and I'm pretty sure that's it. All I am saying is talk to him and find out what is going on first. But from my understanding, he is being a douche, but perhaps he is just so caught up in getting the relationship to work that he isn't thinking about anything else than that. - 6 months ago
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