Can I turn this friends with benefits into a real relationship by losing 80 pounds?

If he doesn't think that you are good enough to be in more than a relationship I have to ask why this is someone you would want to be with. Wouldn't you rather want someone who likes you for who you are no matter what. If weight is an issue for yourself concerning health and you think health wise you would like to lose weight than do it for you not the guy who thinks your good enough for sex but not to be in a relationship with. Also, for him it may not necessarily be the weight in his eyes. Maybe he just figures why should he be in a relationship if he can take care of his needs with you without one. Make him get to know you and like you enough to be with first. He should have to earn to get into your pants by showing you that he wants to be with you.

losing w8 won't change a thing...

shed the kg's honey. it has to be done!

you will feel so much better, f*** going through life with the state of mind that everyone is out of your league. that ain't cool at all.

start swimming. that is by far the best way to exercise

Why would you want a guy that makes you feel like you do not deserve to be happy with a guy like him? Don't lose the weight to please him. That dude is not your husband, so you shouldn't feel obligated to do a darn thing! You should lose the 80 pounds because YOU FEEL that it would make you happier. From what you said, it seems like he is using you for carnal pleasures, and keeps you hidden in the day. Why would you want that?

It also seems like you are making excuses for him. Correct me if I am wrong, but you make is seem like he's some horny dog that knows he can get what he wants from you. Then you go on to say that he's out of your league because he is a really great guy. Well, if he is all of that and he ACTUALLY cared for you, then he would still stick by your side and encourage you to make healthier choices or even exercise with you.

This may sound harsh are very blunt, but I'm just going by what I seem to comprehend. When you look at the whole picture, look at the details.

Just because you are obese doesn't mean you are any less of a person. Stop thinking this guy is better than you, hun. If he is such a great guy, why would he do such a cruel thing to another human being? You sound like a really sweet girl and he sounds like a jerk who is taking advantage of that. You deserve better than the way you are letting yourself be treated. You're letting this guy use you as a personal sex toy, and then throw you away in public. Obviously you're good enough to sleep with, so why don't you think you deserve to be treated better in other ways?

I think you should lose weight for YOU. Do it for your health and your self esteem. And when you do lose weight, he still won't deserve you because of the way he treats you now. Don't you want a guy who will be nice to you and treat you with respect at any weight? Yeah, you will be more attractive minus 80 pounds, but you will still be the same human being.

Well how do you know that losing 80 pounds going to make him ask you to be his girlfriend? I think if the guy going to like you because of you not your physical beauty. If you should lose weight, you should do for you not for other people. With friends with benefits relationship, it is hard to change it to real relationship. Maybe he will ask you in the future just be patient.

Sounds like an idiot to me and believe it or not I have the same problem with a guy that I like.If you ever get a chance you should check it out its on my stories under my profile. But see the thing about my guy is that he's a football player and I'm kinda big too and the thing that I was left with the doubt was if he wanted me for me or just my body it made more sense to me later on why he only came at midnight to see me,so no one else would see us and at school he never even said hi.But the thing I can tell you in your situation yes he's gonna like you more physically if you lose the weight and that was my goal too so we kinda have the same thing going on.In the other hand if he only wants you for sex he's gonna dump you the thing he's getting a kick out of is that he's getting what he wants good cuddles and kisses without commitment's advice I'll tell you don't let him get that so easy get to know each other more don't let him touch you and all that so he'll show you respect as a person if not he's gonna think you easy which I doubt you are.As for the part of not acknowledging you as his girlfriend like I said if he's getting everything without commitment he's not going to call you his girlfriend anytime soon.

erm girl why are you giving him everything he wants when he thinks he can do better. he sounds like an fin dickhead sorry but its true. babe if you wanna loose 80 lbs do it for yourself and not for him. he's really not worth your time if he can't see how amazing you are at the moment. in all honestly you sound like your being taken for a ride and my advice is get out right now. but I know that isn't the answer you wanted to hear. so listen loosing the 80 lbs for yourself may give you new confidence levels and a sexy vibe which may ultimately attract him towards more. it may shock him and yeah he may turn his head a look in your direction in that way. but in all honesty do you really want him to after the way he's treated you. you can do soo much better but if you want to loose 80 lbs then do it. but do it for yourself. if you need any weight loss tips feel free to ask. a great way for you to start would be to start some exercise classes and build your fitness- this will start to tone the muscle underneath the extra weight and also give you confidence and motivation to keep going. I have to say though have you checked that your bmi wouldn't be too low if you lost the weight? please make sure you do this healthily realistically to loose this weight it should take you about 40 weeks or 10 months. if you put in the time and effort you can do it x believe in yourself and give yourself a break. he doesn't sound worth your time

What? Why would you want to do that. There are several reason for you NOT to be with him. 1) He should love you for you and not care what others say. 2) He is not out of your league because you're a thicker girl. If you lose weight do it for yourself. Don't do it for some guy. Please, I encourage you to lose weight because it's a health issue. Not only that but it will up your self esteem through the roof. Please stop the FWB thing too. It's not healthy as you have feelings invested and he doesn't. It would be a different story if you didn't have feelings but you do.

if he hasn't acknowledged you as his girlfriend at this point, I would lose him.

if he thinks he can do better, so can you.

that aside, if you're worried about your weight, eat healthier and go for a 30 minute walk everyday.