Im vietnamese and we usually don't date or be in a couple until marriage. I go out with groups of people and guys always want to go somewhere just the two of us.
I do not know how to tell them I won't do this in a nice way.they always seem to get angry or never talk with me again and say things about me in gossip.
We go out together in groups and only afer getting to know someone that way would I introduce them to my family and even consider marriage...and I would introduce him to my family and get to know his before I would go out as a couple.. - 3 months ago
That makes sense...you should suggest that...maybe....... - 3 months ago
Answerer
Yes, Ahlumba illustrates the point I was getting at.
If you want someone to respect your culture's traditions, you need to explain how things work and ask that they accept this process and abide by it.
In America, we just ask people out when we are ready to, so we're all used to that as our tradition. This guy didn't understand he was being disrespectful because he's not used to Vietnamese customs. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Yes, the problem is that they will often not listen to an explanation and instead get angry and sometimes call us bad names.....I'm sure you have seen that. - 3 months ago
Answerer
In those cases, they are not worth your time.
If they can't respect your culture, that means they don't respect you. So toss them to the wind.
Someone who is actually worth your time will respect your culture, you and your wishes. - 3 months ago
The best way to do something like that is to probably tell them about your heritage and customs, people are usually very understanding when it comes to those type of things.
I find many US men are not willing to listen. Sometimes this does work,though. - 3 months ago
Answerer
That is true. They are usually very rude, so I just say oh yeah you can send me an email(I don't have a phone) and I give them my default email address. They send me messages and I laugh...that might not be something you want to do though...lol. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
No, that's a very good idea actually. There's no reason to make them feel bad by just saying no when they don't understand. It's better probably to give them an e mail that goes only to me and which I wouldn't probably answer.
It is a little dishonest, I think, but if it helps them from feeling bad it would be OK. Thank you again. - 3 months ago
My relationship with this man started as a mentorship, which eventually turned into friendship. I've known him for 5 years now. He is great,...
View Answers
Ok so I like this shy guy and I appreciate all the great advice that I've gotten on here about him liking me back. I just have a quick question. I was...
View Answers