One thing I've never had a problem with is confidence, and when I say that I mean, I've always felt good about my looks, feelings and views as a person. Nothing near a narcissist level, but I never felt like I could be a bad catch.
Problem though is that I've never been one to show interest in a girl, run up to her and introduce myself, or even if it's someone I know who might have serious interest, I've always waited to be approached, I open up to those who come see me.
I'm just not sure if my unwillingness to put myself out there and take the risk is hurting a potentially good friendship that needs me to put the guard down. Or is there women out there that will take the first step, and not lose interest due to my position?
If you are a confident person, then you shouldn't have a problem approaching the girl first. I mean the approaching comes with feeling secure and okay with your looks ,feelings, etc. Just relax and self soothe to help feel easy and less tense. Take some slow deep breathes, roll your shoulders back, and try to relax your body. Be mindful of your psyiological responses when you start to feel like your ready to approach, because it'll help you understand what's going on for you physically more too.
Thanks man, I definitely don't see it as a lost cause and know I can, it's just hesitating as most people are critical and rejection is always something nobody wants to find themselves involved with. However, I can always make friends more than that, but you eventually gotta make a move, it's just mine have always seemed effortless, you know? - 3 months ago
Answerer
Yeah, I totally can empathize with you on that one, because I have a huge fear of rejection and sometimes get lost in my avoiding behaviors, thoughts, impulses, etc. Approaching will def. give you a boost in facing your fears of rejection. - 3 months ago
The title to your question is "Is my confidence hurting me?". The answer to your actual question is no your confidence is not hurting you. It sounds like you don't have enough. It sounds like you may think you have good looks and feelings and views as a person but you don't feel like you do. You should never wait for a person you are interested in to approach you. You should initiate or you will lose your chance. I suggest when you want to start a conversation with a woman you don't look at it as trying to pick her up. Look at it as a chance to get to know someone new. If you don't feel the pressure of possible failure you will be more likely to actually approach her. You can't fail at introducing your self, but you can fail at picking her up. It is possible that a woman will make the first move but do you really want to wait around for that?
Well, I never make the approach because I am shy. Because of this, if I am showing hints that I like someone and they never acteupon it, I begin to give them the cold shoulder because I feel as though I like them more than they do. Although I do give them the cold shoulder, I am still very interested. But in the end, they move on. Real life experience! :( But I would say that if you don't approach a girl, the louder ones will. But you won't get the shy quiet ones though. They will not approach you. I open up sort of (lol) when people talk to me, but no one really has. lol.
I know it's really radical thinking, but if an attractive girl came up to me and let me know she had interest in finding more out about me, my response wouldn't be, "You hussy! You whore! Wait untill I make my way over to you."
I guess that's my question... has the old school changed, and can we get women to show the same affection? Or is it always going to be a guy struggling and stammering for courage because the female doesn't feel a need to acknowledge his presence? - 3 months ago
Men and women are equal, but they are still different. same way a guy can sleep with 20 girls and no one cares, but if a girl does it she is all types of whores.
it is just better if a man asks a woman out because in my opinion it shows iniative and that he really likes her. also if a woman approaches a man, how is she supposed to know he didn't say yes just because he "can", ya know - 3 months ago
most of girls wuldn't approach any guy even if he's superhot or cute , plus its the guys job that make the move , but in this time everything is possible .haha
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
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