After almost a year of liking this guy... we've become pretty good friends but he's still kinda shy when it comes to me. We've made out a few times when we were drunk, but other than that he's usually shy around me. Everyone notices (as do I) that he treats me differently than other girls. He's 20 and never had a girlfriend.
I waited and waited and waited for him to ask me out. It never happened, he would show interest and then back off, hot and cold, tons of mixed signals... it drove me crazy.
So after reading around on this site about shy guys, I saw so many answers saying "Take initiative, ask him out yourself." Considering I'm a shy girl myself... I never thought I could do it. But I realized that I really care about this guy, and I could be missing out on something great if I didn't make a move.
I asked him out to dinner for Valentine's day. The only reason he declined was because he had to work until 10:30... and he said we'd go on another night for sure.
I was bummed but felt he had a legitimate reason, and I was convinced that I was spending yet another Valentine's day alone.
Saturday night, at around 8 or so, he called me and asked me if I wanted to go see a movie after he got off of work.
He's been keeping in touch more since then (I know it's only Monday lol) but after that date he seems more comfortable with the idea that we COULD be dating. We went back to his house after the date and his roommates and friends were there watching a movie... he was putting his arm around me, teasing me, and even invited me to sleep in his bed. We spent the whole night cuddling, we kissed a little bit but he didn't even push for more. Which makes me feel like I'm special and not that he was just trying to get some.
But point blank, girls, if you like a shy guy - ASK HIM OUT. It's like I gave him a whole new confidence because he knew for sure that I was interested, and almost out of nowhere he started to finally pursue me and not back down.
thts a good point but still shy guys need to man up sum times. but I totally agree with you . girls ask a guy out sumtimes if he's shy you will be doin them a favor of not having a heart attack wen askin you out.
Beigna shy guy myself I've missed out on so much. The only way to solve this is to just...'jump in' and get yourself into situations that you won't normally get into. It builds your confidence bit by bit and can help out. But you get the most confidence from other people.
I really think you should ask him out. I am a very shy guy and I can't no matter how hard I try ask a girl out. It would really make it easier for him if you did it and it is obvious you all like each other.
Nice! I've been giving that exact advice ever since I joined this site! I know from experience as well that it almost always works (of course, in my case I was asking out a shy girl), but she is now my girlfriend. I am painfully shy myself, but I know that if it isn't moving anywhere, then even a shy person needs to take initiative.
my hero, I wish I could do that. i kind of did. i have a way different situation, I broke up with my ex for stupid reasons six months ago, and we both really like each other. i finally got the nerve to call him a week ago, we talked for 30 min., and at the end of the conversation I blurtted out do you wanna hang out sometime? and he said sure yeah, but what would we do? I said I don't know, chill, ya know. well things went well all week til friday he was like i-i don't know if I even want to, since he's scared of getting back together. hes sooo shy. things are going well now, but I'm so nervous to ask him again, though I know if I dont, nothing will happen. i want to ask him to hang out again in like two weeks but I'm way too nervous and scared.
i wish I could just do this myself, but I already hinted at going to a movie and he never brought up the topic again. so I really doubt myself. my friends say that he was just nervous to bring the topic of going to the movie up again and that he has to be shy, but I figure if he was interested, he would have got in touch with me, especially since he knew I wanted to go to the movie! right?
Not necessarily. Unless you straight out ask him to a movie, he may be unsure about it. Guys are stupid when it comes to hints and signals - I've realized that they just don't get it unless you say it straight out. If he knew for sure that you wanted to go to a movie then he might not even ask about it again because he could be that painfully shy. So just ask him straight out if he wants to go to a movie - if he says no, then he says no. But you've gotta get gutsy and just be direct. - 9 months ago
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