One of my guy friends has a tendency of randomly texting me throughout the week (and they're not booty calls). We've kissed on occasion (he initiates) and he's always making double entendre comments. He confides in me about relationship questions and what girls want. I like him, but I refuse to get sucked into whatever is going on. Why go through all this if you're not interested in dating the person?
I hate these games... do guys do this for the same reason as girls- a confidence boost or just out of boredom? He's not a skeezy person, so I didn't expect this from him.
Input please! Is he testing the waters, or is it just for fun?
Update: I figured I should update this post, especially since the video is on Matt and Tamsen's website. Eeek. Well, I casually asked him out on a relaxed date, he said yes, but didn't call for 3 months. Then drunk texts me trying to be all flirty. No thanks.
6 months ago
Update: What gets me is that he was playing up the event of me asking him out. He said that's what he always wanted, but didn't follow through. I wasn't shocked or too affected by his actions. I mean, my ego hurt a bit but I didn't let him try to pull me in again
6 months ago
Do you know for fact he doesn't like you? Or do you just think so...
I think if he initiates, he likes you, but is unsure of where you stand, possibly because you aren't as open about your feelings to him, or because he is quite inexperienced. An experienced and strong man goes in for the kill with no insinuations or games.
I don't think he's playing games honestly, if he's asking you what women want, he's feeling you out. It's quite obvious actually. He wants to know what type of guy you want and whether you two would be compatible. He may even think you are dating him! You have to break through these barriers of communication and be upfront with him about your feelings.
Simply ask him, hey, I wanted to know where we stand. If he's flaky, shy, he may be a bit inexperienced. His actions so far have conveyed that he really likes you. But he may just have trouble being upfront. No one is upfront anymore because if you are shy and force out your intentions, you come off as desperate. It takes much practice to confidently ask a women out and let her know your intentions, and even then, it's hard for some women to accept because most guys in this age are shy in these matters.
hard to say, but a lot of us guys will joke about being interested in you to get your reaction. Then not sure what to do with the answer, or how to make the offer legitimate. Sometimes it is just lack of confidence, but sometimes the guy is just a douche and is just not committing to showing he has feelings or doesn't. That is the double edged sword here. You are very cute though, so make him understand you can hang with him if he flies straight or you gonna go get someone else. P.S. feel free to send me nude pics of yourself.. haha. kisses
No, he's a douche. I think he used me as a confidence boost, but he and I both know that he can't handle the responsibility of a relationship. He made that VERY clear by blowing me off. I stopped hanging out with him- he sucks as a friend. - 6 months ago
i don't why I feel so but it seems like this guy is not serious about his realtionship with you...knowing that he is with you and then also txting you a txt with double meaning indiactes that he must be having someone in his life ot he might be not thing about ur relationship as you think...i don't thik any body play such kind of games simply...if there is a smoke there is fire to...
He wasn't "with" me. And he doesn't hang out much with other single girls. I live in a community where most people are already married or engaged. And after he blew me off, I stopped hanging out with him. I was tired of putting up with his immature habits (like asking why I'd never call or text him, but yet he wasn't able to initiate.) This subject has been a non-issue for months now. - 6 months ago
Apparently. I asked the guy out (casually), he said yes... then never called me for a few months. 4th of July weekend he randomly (and in a drunken stupor) text messages me. It shows a total disregard for my emotions. He used me for attention and an ego stroke. - 8 months ago
hes testing you to look how far he can get whit you ^^ I never play games theds what I cal a 'player' tall tey do is breaky girls/ladys hearts I bet he does is by more girls/ladys btw you look nice ^^
Well, turns out he wasn't testing the waters. He must've been bored, because he blew me off after we had planned to go out on a date. It's not a big deal, because I was starting to feel like I was just some fun "game" for him. :shrugs: It's okay... I'm better off without him. And I don't feel like I missed out on much.
If you think he's doing it for attention, look for other signs. Does he have many other female friends? Is he flirty with many different girls? Does he have fairweather personal standards/ethics?
If you think he's playing games, it's possible you played them first (or he took what you did as game playing) or that he's a fairly emotional guy. Did you misdirect him with responses? Did you go out of your way to prove you weren't desperate? When he speaks, is he direct or does he speak using inferences and implications?
If the two of you have kissed before, perhaps he feels some physical attraction. Is he a bold guy or is he shy enough that he doesn't want to take risks? He could be using "friendship" as a bullet-proof vest and waiting for you to show you like him and/or not know how to progress the relationship forward.
Unfortunately, I don’t think he is much into you. I am guessing that he has a lot of female attention, not just you. So when he texts you randomly he is keeping you on the line. When he hints at things he is also keeping you on the line. It feels very good for anyone to get attention from another. I used to bask in it as much as I possibly could in the past! Now the real question is… How do you fight back? You said you hate these games BUT he is not trying to screw with you, he only enjoys your attention. You want more but you don’t know how to go about getting it! Read here on the rules of texting, that should help a bit link Also please understand that he does not have a playbook that he looks at just to make your life miserable. Games are what everyone does to everyone all the time! The only reason this bugs you so much is because you don’t know the rules to this game as well as you might with a parent or a girlfriend.
I agree that he's likely not into me. If he was, he would've asked me out by now. But what I don't get is why you'd sacrifice a friendship for an ego boost. The likelihood of it blowing up in your face is too great. I understand very well the "rules" of game playing as you say, it's just that I don't agree with them. I may be younger, but I don't see many men in their 30's pulling this crap. Perhaps that's why I rarely bother with younger guys. - More than a year ago
Answerer
You’re right guys in their 30's usually don't do that (they pull other crap) so maybe you should date guys closer to your maturity level? You say you understand the rules of the game? I think if you really did you would actually agree with them! Not trying to be argumentative but there is no escaping the game! The reason there is no escape is because no one is really trying to play. Well some do, but most don’t. I don’t think for a second your boy is trying to mess with you. - More than a year ago
Answerer
So you have two choices. Either ditch him and find a guy that is playing a game you like. OR get better at understanding his game and beat him at it. - More than a year ago
for the challenge, girls who give in to easily, look "easy", and if they look "easy" their just for sex, ya know? I want to be challenged in how to get the girl I like, you know?, what's it gonna take to get her without making it come off as.. I already like her back
So what you're saying is...? What's he up to? - More than a year ago
Answerer
He wants to see what you react to the best... in order to "get you", ya know?
if its not a booty call as you say, he's either trying to figure out what you are like and will say yes to, or he's just trying to get some answers about girls in general - More than a year ago
Question Asker
Ah, I see. Well that's not too bad. Thanks! - More than a year ago
Answerer
I just wrote an article on "playing games" check it out, if it does indeed become a featured article - More than a year ago
The man must know his place in a relationship. As a friend, there is no KISSING. Otherwise, next we will buddies in the bedroom. No way. A man only goes as far as you let him.
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When: 8 months ago
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