I've known this girl from class for nearly 6 months, and she's clearly interested in me on some level. We've talked and flirted our fair share but we only recently started hanging out. The last time we did anything together was over winter break with a group of her friends... dinner followed by some bar hopping and dancing.
I asked her to lunch for later in the week and she told me sure and to "hit her up" later. I ran into her in class a few days later asked her again after class. I get a "maybe" as she walks off, and we all know maybe is almost certainly no.
So at this point I'd pretty much given up on her... only she calls me two days later asking if I want to go snowboarding over the weekend. I agree to it after she says she'd like to get more people to go because in her words, "the more the merrier."
I call her on Friday and since neither of us could find anyone to go, she completely cancels on me. What she doesn't know is, I went out and bought stuff for the weekend and got off work just for her... needless to say I was pretty irritated but didn't show it.
What the hell? Is she just toying with me or playing hard to get? Does she just want to be friends, or is she just insecure with men and can't do anything one on one?
Update: I'm interested in her but I will only put up with so much BS.
7 months ago
Update: The girl in question is in my 6th picture on my profile.
7 months ago
Update: To clear things up, it was just supposed to be for a few hours, not a whole weekend.
6 months ago
Safety in numbers, Aedak. You may be a great guy, but, until she trusts you, she's not going to spend a weekend with you alone.
I really don't blame her. There are too many freaks out there. Dating can be dangerous for a gal. Try to see it from her point-of-view. She probably really likes you or she wouldn't invite you to go on a weekend trip. She's probably JUST as disappointed as you are. Think of it this way: SHE INVITED YOU FIRST ! The whole trip sounds like it was being planned around the two of you since she said she wanted the two of you to try and get more people to go. However, YOU were the first to get an invitation.
I think that's pretty cool and a good indicator.
Don't you think so ???
"Maybe" isn't always a "no". "No" is only a "no". A "maybe" is sometimes a way to flirt. If she said it and smiled and/or winked, it was a flirty "yes". If she wasn't smiling and looked like she was ready to bolt and run OR annoyed, THEN it would be an "I'm turning you down, but trying my damnedest to not hurt your feelings." (Gals: Am I right ? Or, am I right ?!?) ; )
Confused much ? I can see why. THIS is the MAIN reason it is SOOOOO important to learn about body language. GOOD LUCK !!!
She doesn't like one on one stuff. I understand how she feels. She's interested but she doesn't want to be with you alone. It would be strange for her and bother her. She's not playing hard to get. I'm guessing she just doesn't want to get in that situation.
Well I got her alone tonight, after the group meeting we grabbed some Quiznos down the street. Still giving me mixed signals though... - 6 months ago
Answerer
But that wasn't a whole weekend. Why don't you ask about it though? I mean it would be a little risky but wouldn't it clear a whole bunch up if you did. - 6 months ago
1st thing is first, communication is what you NEED with her! If you cannot ask her things may not work out.
It seems to me like she just wants a friend right now or she is playing hard to get. Text her saying " Do you want to go skating? " Or something like that. And be like " I won't take no for an answer, so when can you go? " And if she says ok haha or something, she is probably interested. if she says something flirty then she is definitely interested. Set up a day, within a weeks time and then tell her you will pick her up at whatever time you would like. Ask her where she wants to get something to eat first, and take her to a really nice restaurant (somewhere were fries are like 8 dollars.. haha. ) Then take her skating... if you have to drive an hour for somewhere really nice then do it because it will be worth it in the end! Plus pay for everything. Like when you ask for the check, have the money ready and that kind of thing so she can't pay.. make it so she has no option to.! ;) Then at skating help her put her skates on if she doesn't know how to and that kind of thing.
2) She looks really pretty! So you guys should totally get together ;) Good Luck!
Well she is in my group for one of my class projects so we will probably meet at least once a week anyway... like we're meeting this sunday. If I can catch her before we leave that would probably be my best chance to ask her to do something until class. - 6 months ago
Sorry it would only let me comment so much. LOL. Like I said, instead of inviting her to lunch try something "non-threatening" like coffee, or bowling or something. Try to approach it like "hey, did you hear about that new gingerbread latte from Starbucks? I've been dying to try it out. Would you like to go? Or, "you look like you could beat my butt in bowling." I know these are pretty corny but you get my drift. I agree, these things shouldn't have to be this complicated. I've liked this shy guy for months now and I even gave him my number (which he called and hung up) but he has yet to come up and ask me out. His bro. said that his brother has never been this shy around a girl before (I guess I should be flattered) but I'm like c'mon! LOL. Best of luck to you. Write me back if you have any other questions. :)
Ha, he called and hung up? I guess that would have worked before caller ID. I thought of asking her in kind of a funny way, but who knows how it would work. "So, do you eat lunch? Are you planning on eating lunch tomorrow? So, eat lunch with me." *grin* - 7 months ago
Question Asker
I had thought lunch was kind of on the same level as coffee, I guess I was wrong. I almost want to say something like, "Come on, I won't bite" or "friends do these kinds of things, right?" and see how she reacts. - 7 months ago
Answerer
That would be a really cute way to ask! LOL. I really don't see how she could say no to that. If she gets nervous around you then I would say she likes you because girls just don't get nervous. Let me know how it goes. :) - 7 months ago
Yeah I have to agree with everyone else. It seems like she just wants to be friends although I still think that because she asked you to go snowboarding that she still should have went whether or not she could find anyone else. You could keep pursuing her or move on to someone that deserves your time and energy. Good luck!
She's still flirting with me big time, even today after class. Unless she's got the personality of someone who's always nervous, something tells me there's more to it than that. Ahh, why does everything have to be so complicated? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Her behavior is baffling me a little. Most women love to spend alone time with a guy they like (even the shy ones) and I'm shy so I should know. LOL. Maybe she's extremely shy and is nervous about hanging around you personally. Instead of inviting - 7 months ago
I'd guess that she only wants to be friends. When this goes on for awhile, it's usually best to give up and move on. But go with your heart...my older brother pursued a woman for months before she relented and agreed to go out with him. They've been married for 11 years now, with three kids. :) Good luck
It certainly seems like she enjoys your company, but only as a friend. She has probably picked up on the fact that you're interested in her, and instead of coming out and telling you nicely that she doesn't want to date you, she's opted for the "confuse the hell out of them until they give up" routine. It might be a good idea to just out with it and tell her you're interested in dating her, and if you're rejected, at least you know for sure how she feels.
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What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
I walk up to a girl and say 'Giant polar bear', she responses 'Huh', or 'What', then I go 'It broke the ice'. This one never failed me. I always get a smile back. Even when I come across with someone who answers with 'It broke the ice', I throw another one until I come up with something she doesn't know. This line always follows with a counter question about the success rate.
How do they typically respond?
As I said, somehow this line always works. It is witty. As the conversation goes a bit further, just as I am introducing myself, I say (very cheesy) "Name is Bruce, but you can call me tonight". This gets a puzzled response at first and a smirk -if they don't know it already-, but if they do, I squint my eyes with a big smile :)
(Age:Under 18)
When: 7 months ago
