How do I approach a girl at a bar with out her thinking that all I want is sex out of her?

Since your in the bar scene the first recommendation is maintain eye contact. No staring at her lips or any other various body parts that may suggest "i want sex" to her. Second just talk to her like you would someone you met any other place. Its not the scene, unless its too nosy, that matters just the type of the conversation.

Okay my comment got out of hand. If she's standing at the bar. go up to order yourself drink or a beer. And then look at her, smile and say: "You know what?" And then she'll probably say: "what?". Hold a pause, look into her eyes, smile and say: "Nah, I don't think you want to know." And a secret - women are curious by nature. Then she'll probably nag you a bit, unless she's totally not interested. There you have her on the hook. If you want to make a deeper connection, ask her personal questions after the intro. But not too personal. No sex talk. Don't make out with her by the end of the night. Give her a kiss on the cheek. Remember her phone number and give her a call the next day, after 1600, to set a REAL! date - outside the bar!

And that my dearest, is the end of that story!

I disagree with Quester, Not all girls go to a bar to look sexy or whatever. Some go to have fun with their girls and of course get guys. So just casually go up to this " girl" and be like.. Hey you wanna drink.. it's on me or be like Can I get your number. They are simple but they work.

Well, if you want something serious to happen, then you're probably looking at the wrong place. When girls go to a bar, they really out up an effort to look good, attractive, sexy whatever. So they expect men to approach them, thus really making you one out of many, unless you have something distinctive over you, either personality wise or in the looks-department. And the way you describe yourself, says that you might not be someone to piss your territory.

Rather learn to approach girls in a bookstore, at the supermarket or at school/work. They might be harder to approach, but probably, they are more down-to-earth in those situations...

If you're looking for a girl to spend the rest of your life with, you're probably not going to find her at the bar. Go to places where you can pursue your interests--I don't know anything about you, but you can probably think of 9 places like that off the top of your head. Meeting a woman there will ensure that she shares at least one thing with you. When you meet a woman there, start asking her about herself. (Need more specific information? I've written it down so many times that I wrote an article--look for "The Conversation Monster.") Good luck finding your soul mate!

When you go to talk to her, do it in a friendly way and just start a conversation w/ her. Keep it casual like you're talking to a friend at first.