Okay, so my friends have told me that I'm too uptight and picky with guys I meet, and I'm wondering if this is true. I'm nineteen and I am a virgin, and have yet to get my first kiss (in high school, I was way too busy with school and sports and other things to think about boys, and now in retrospect that may have been a bad plan in the long run). Therefore, I feel like once I get that first kiss out of the way, I will be a lot more relaxed. I just want my first kiss to be with someone I care about and who respects me, not just a drunk guy at a party or a club.
Fast forward to tonight. My friends and I were dancing at a club, and a group of guys descend on us and we start dancing with them. I wasn't looking for a guy tonight, but I figured a little dancing wasn't any harm. "My" guy, who was really cute, I'm not going to lie, was dancing with me, when suddenly he slid his hand around my hip, under the bottom edge of my shirt, and started to play with the button on my jeans. I honestly felt like he was going to try and put his hand down my pants. I suppose that I can't be certain that was his intent, but it definitely seemed that way. I freaked out and made up an excuse about going to the bathroom and left before he could go any further.
My friends told me afterwards, basically, that if I ever want to get a boyfriend I should stop being so uptight and picky, but is it too much to want to hold off on the first kiss until it's with a guy I care about, and a guy who respects my boundaries? Even after I told them what he did, they still thought that it "couldn't have been that bad. " I know what I felt. Am I being unreasonable? I'm not in any big rush to get that kiss, I just want it to be with a guy who respects me rather than one who just wants to use me for the night.
I would definitely not consider you uptight or unreasonable in that situation. I actually think it is really great that you got out of that situation that made you feel so uncomfortable and good for you for sticking to your morals (wanting a guy who respects you). When you find a man that will respect you and treat you the way you want to be treated, that first kiss will be so special and definitely worth the wait.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean. Who really wants to be groped? I for one don't feel special or particularly good when that happens. It's okay to have limitations like that. Some people rush into things, and because of that, it never lasts. If you want a one night stand, go for the guy who feels you up. If you want someone who can become important to you, go with the one you're comfortable with.
I don't think you are uptight I totally understand wanting to be respected! On the other hand you do sound waaaaay too down on your self, don't worry bout what your friends think do what you feel is right for yourself!
All I can say is, don't judge yourself by your friends' standards. If they're fine with kissing a cute guy at a party, then they can do that. If you want your first to be meaningful, then wait until you find a guy that fits that. If you think that kissing is a big deal and you went ahead and did it anyway, you might kick yourself for not living up to your standards.
I had a friend who thought I was the biggest prude ever just because I refused to hook up with one of her boyfriend's friends. He was totally making me feel uncomfortable, just like that guy did you, and I wasn't having it. That's not being "uptight" or "picky", that's just having different boundaries (and maybe a few morals) and your friends should respect that. And I'm kinda pissed because I got in a big fight with her about that!
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