Ladylike or unladylike, Are these terms hopelessly outdated?

I find this a negative term and strive towards unisexualism. But the fact is that men and women are different (hence this site), but I also believe much of what is "ladylike" and "manly" is solely based upon incorrect perceptions of how we as males and females should act accordingly instead of just being naturally male and female without bothering or thinking too much about it. The question is rather: What makes us truly male or Gentlemanly or truly female or Ladylike? Our dress sense or manners, or something much more simpler or even much more complex than our current ideas.

I believe that that term is still useful along with male chivalry. Old fashion or not, I believe that its polite when men open doors for a lady and nice when ladies still do whatever that makes them "ladylike". I hear many girls complain when their men don't open the doors for them or don't treat them like a "lady". You know that feeling some girls get in that situation. Well that's how some of us men feel when girls are "unladylike". But this is America so everyone is free to be what they please to be but if you want to be treated like a lady then act like one.

I think its still useful. It just doesn't describe the same things it use to. When I think of lady like, I think of a proper women (strong and has peoples respect). Like British royalty or a powerful but sexy female ceo. Unladylike to me means well Paris Hilton. Gross and just over the top sexual.

Yes I use these terms, and I absolutely prefer to associate / be friends with women who are described as "ladylike." I enjoy it when women wear feminine clothes (not necessarily revealing, we have another word for that) and when they wear perfume and have good manners etc... Of course because I am a guy, I am obnoxious when I am around 100% men, but if there is one lady in the room, I try not to curse (I pretty much don't), and I am conscious of my manners. I would prefer women to do the same around men.

So if a girl is described as ladylike, it's definitely positive. It also implies she is not a tomboy.

They are absolutely still useful. Although, I would argue they are defined differently. I definite a lady as "motherly, gentle and giving" -- but also "tough, gritty and honest".

I define "unladylike" as "an outright bitch, a slut, a woman with no class, a shameless, vulgar woman " (like a stripper).

I have known women of both kinds, and I can say without a doubt that the two kinds are separated by two simple qualities: the ability to love and to accept love.

No more outdated than if a girl describes a guy as a gentleman. Class is recognized, when it is seen, by both sexes!

I actually never really payed much attention to the terms until I was in 9th grade, 8th maybe, but I had to read. It was Great Expectations, where Ms. Havisham gives up on being ladylike (jilted at the alter)? I think it was that, but I started using the terms after that class.

But I agree with Jarett, I think it's mostly if you're looking for someone with class, then you take the terms more into consideration.

Otherwise, the saying "do as I say, not as I do" comes to mind. When someone is judging and they're the same.

The terms might not be something that we use a lot of anymore. But I prefer girls to act like that. Although girls wearing cleavage shirts might attract attention, it's not the type of woman that I would date. But I think girls that act "ladylike" and "classy" are very attractive and are more relationship material.

I believe "ladylike" behavior is a positive. To me ladylike=well mannered, and the purpose of good manners is to allow others to feel welcome and comfortable in your presence. Therefore, I hope that "ladylike" behavior will never outdated.

I don't think that they're hopelessly outdated, I do think that there are less girls nowadays that can be considered ladylike. There are lack of morals and self respect that contribute to that and those are the girls that would find the term ladylike offensive because they know they don't fit in that description. If they find the term unladylike offensive it's because they don't want to face the truth.

My mother always raised me to be a lady. When I was two years old, she'd always have me in dresses and if I wasn't sitting properly, she'd tell me to sit like a lady and I'd cross my ankles. From that young age to this day I always try to present myself in a ladylike fashion and when I curse and I'm told it's unladylike, I get upset, but not offended, because that's not the image I want to create of myself.

The definition of ladylike has changed with time I think. It used to mean being prim and proper at all times and not speaking our minds and thinking for ourselves. Now I feel the term means dressing appropriately, being respectful to ourselves as well as others, and speaking our minds while remaining tactful and accepting of others' opinions and differences.

I was raised to always be ladylike and I use this term often. If more women used these terms they would alter their behavior accordingly.

These terms are not outdated but this generation of parents are not teaching their daughters what these terms mean.

The term "ladylike" gets pulled out a lot more by my older relatives from Hicksville, Indiana and Middle-of-nowhere, Ohio than people I interact with on a regular basis. Mainly in the sense that they see I've chosen zoo keeping as a career and wonder why I didn't pick something more "ladylike," i.e., something that doesn't involve me coming home from work smelling like a gibbon. :) I find it slightly irritating that they hold these stereotypes; after all, I don't ALWAYS smell like a gibbon, I shower as soon as I get home, plus this work is my passion. But they're at an age where they're set in their ways.

I live in a large Midwest city. I personally don't much care about the terms unless they're coming from a young guy, in which case it can sometimes come off as a wee bit sexist depending on the context. I don't use them much myself, but I like guys to know that while I have my "unladylike" side, I am very proud of my femininity and can be very "ladylike" when I want to and when I need to be. I am both and neither, so it doesn't bother me too much to be called either.

I think those terms can only be used between women themselves. If a man said something like that to me, I would think his views were sexist. I mostly hear it from older folk such as my mother!