I'm ugly and I know it.

I just wrote a full page here but somehow it all disappeared.

I'll just post the most important. Here is a link describing "tapping" a method to tap nerve ends that will affects your emotions. link

Another link is to "The Linden Method" with is a method to treat panic attacks and anxiety.
link

I can send you the The Linden Method Manual if you want it.

why do you think you're ugly?

try thinking about factors that contribute to your anxiety-problem at home, abusive relationships or lack of confidence-some are these are keys. I was bullied in hs, and that did affect me which was sad-i went to a stupid hs but once I got into university it was different. you need to be more confident and try different looks. guys used to not pay attention to me in hs as much as now...now they always check me out but of course I like guys better if they take the time to know me...so yeah, keeping busy helps and finding ways to improve your looks helps. I learned moreabout makeup, clothes, style, eating healthier etc etc.

Well, filling your life with other things would do that, but I don't think you're being realistic at all. You're still young, saying that you'll *never* be the object of someone's desire is a bit premature. And your negative attitude towards relationships is probably doing you more damage than anything else you named. You're trying to make yourself unavailable to people, which means no one will have the chance to start a relationship with you, which leads you right back to where you started--saying you'll never be the object of someone's desire. You don't have to focus on finding a guy, but you shouldn't avoid the possibility entirely either.