Really your sheets don't matter as much as what you do in between them. But I will answer your questions anyway. As for colors there is not a certain color. I think I like darker colors blue or green maybe. As far as neatness, somewhere in the middle is good.
Unless you're talking the level of neat where the pens are all lined up perfectly on your desk and you tell girls not to touch anything because they'll mess it up, it is not possible to be too neat.
For me and a lot of women I know, a major turn-off is unwashed sheets and pillowcases. They smell bad, they feel disgusting, and girls will fear that doing a lot of housework will be part of any future with you. A little mess is OK. Even an unmade bed is fine as long as it doesn't look completely destroyed, but you should always, always change your sheets and pillowcases at least once a week.
I like all kinds of colors on a bed (the best look depends on the overall color scheme in the room). The one thing to watch out for is to choose lighter colors if you are a bit messy. Darker colors can hide dirt and other things, so if a bed is unmade and the room is messy, darker colors can look a bit scary because of what they might be hiding. In general, I like darker colors in men's rooms, but a lot of men make their rooms too dark.
When I want to redecorate, I look for inspiration in magazines. There is one at condenast.com (a company that publishes magazines) called something like, "Architectural Digest" that I like. it has ideas for smaller apartments and rooms.
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