I've always wondered about something....

being optimistic doesn't mean that it will happen, its just an attitude. But it does mean that it is a lot more likely to happen because optimistic people will go out there and meet people and put the effort in etc.There's no guarantees in anything in life apart from "death and taxes"-really can't remember who said that but its so true.

Life is transient, things change all the time so there's only a certain amount in life that you can really control. Let go of the things you can't control, focus on what you CAN control (see my motto below) and you WILL be happier guaranteed. I've tried it. I do think optimism does help because it gives people hope which is better than just getting depressed even if the situation remains the same. most people have a "relationship pattern" that they repeat over and over-it sounds like you're the sappy wimpy "nice guy" in the relationship so you do have to set your boundaries and toughen up to a certain extent. Life will deal you blows but you have to keep going no matter what.

Look, everyone is born alone and dies alone so its not like you can take people with you when you pass on-nobody can. You can have people around you when you die but you do it alone. Maybe I'm getting too deep but we are ultimately alone in life and its up to us to make connections with other people. Just don't worry about death-it tends to freak 99.9% of people out and focus on living!

I do agree with you to a certain extent though-there is this entire industry of self-help books that tell people everything will be ok when maybe some CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) techniques and realistic action is much more appropriate. Positive thinking does work but its the action that ultimately counts. And no-ones going to do that for u! You have to do it yourself. My motto is "accept the things you can't change and change things you can". It will empower you so much if you use it! I'm bit of a hypocrite tho because I love selfhelp books lol!

Most people delude themselves by thinking that anything is possible. It gives them hope and keeps them happy. People with depression see things more realistically. It makes them sad.

It's not wrong to hope for things, or to make people feel better about themselves. Taking away people's hope because you don't believe in it, that's wrong. If things keep going badly for people over and over again, it's their choice to get back up and try again rather than give up. I don't see how that's a bad thing.

Maybe it's because you have a negative attitude. The way you potray yourself, if the way others see you. Who's gonna wanna reach out to when you're sending all these negative vibes?

Wow your definitly the most negative person I've ever 'met'
It's definitly true that wishful thinking leads to hopes being crashed (if you don't take action yourself) But those things aren't suppose to weaken you, LEARN from it, over come it, and stand up again!
Well everything is easier to say, than to be done. But that's life you can't just start pitty yourself, being al negative. Look at all the people in the world that had high hopes every since they were born(yes even in third world countries), they took the required action that was needed and failed, they failed over and over again, but their hopes where stronger than their negative toughts so they decided not to give up and now they are all succesfull people~ (just read the newspaper/open your tv).
Those initiative takers are the people that change their own future/the world.

Pretending to be the nice guy neh... people can't change who they are, so pretending to be a nice guy (even tough it felt real for you) was probally just a fail...

Maybe you should try fixing your own character first before saying you have high standards hmm, or maybe having those 'high standards' is the reason why you feel alone...

BTW people never die alone, maybe wifeless yes, but dieing alone no ^^

The people who wind up alone, do so by choice, or so I've been told. I do sometimes feel the way you do, but I'm split and really don't know what to believe.

It doesn't make you an asshole.. Its just your situation.. its really unfortunate that you feel that way.. You've had bad experiences and your hopes got dashed over and over again and nothing changed for you.. Your back to square one.. I know how that feels.. I've been through that feeling.. it might not be the same experiences as you but I know what it feels like to get my hopes and to be proved wrong everytime.. But just because you can't prove something, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Example.. Just because we haven't found other life in the universe, it doesn't mean that life doesn't exist.. We just haven't found it yet.. We are not all optimistic.. I might sound like one but I'm not even close!.. People say there is someone out there for everyone because the chances are VERY HIGH.. Seriously, I'm not lying to you.. Your in one place.. location.. there are over 6 BILLION people.. dude.. that's a lot.. that's 6,000,000,000 people! There HAS to be someone out there for everyone.. but you cannot expect them to take care of you just like that.. You have to put some effort into it also.. Fate and destiny.. that's all bullsh*t.. you already know that but there is another side to it.. its bullsh*t because its NOT automatic.. If you THINK your gonna die old and alone, then you are.. Sorry to say but it's all in your head man.. What you think is what you are.. Ask anyone.. they'll tell you the same thing.. Playing the nice guy? Are you talking about relationships, if so, let me know and I can tell you what's wrong with playing the nice guy..

If you feel no one loves you or cares about you except your family and you want someone else, then move your ass! Literally!.. pack your sh*t and move.. live somewhere else.. sacrifice your family for a while to find that true love and one person that's meant for you.. Of course your gonna keep getting your hopes dashed if you don't make significant changes in your life.. Your true love won't likely be in your town, city or even country!

We are not trying to 'feed peoples egos and false hopes'.. we are just saying yes there is someone out there but they don't know you and you don't know them.. they're not going to find you unless you go looking as well! You are right about one thing though... 'wishful thinking leads to hopes being dashed'.. but the fact is.. wishful thinking WITHOUT ACTION leads to hopes being dashed and going back to square one everytime.. People have big dreams and goals.. and they dream about it everyday.. to make millions of dollars or whatever the f*** ever.. but they don't do anything about it!.. That's why they fail..

If you want to succeed, take action.. Giving up only makes it worse, you know that already!.. We are not telling people "rediculous lies".. and we are not failing them over and over again.. people need hope and motivation to make changes. Just like you said "maybe" they'll change.. and that's all we can ask for. Nothing more.