To Be a Nice Guy or A Jerk?

Um no - nice guys don't finish last! Ever heard the saying you have to go through all the crappy ones to get to the good ones - well that's what's been happening to you! Maybe you really don't know what you want yet so you continually make those same mistakes in finding the same girl - I know a guy who's nice as hell and he's turning into a jerk because all the girls he dates -all from top to bottom use him because he likes the kinda types who are overly stuck-up bitches and he doesn't want to see it because all he wants is a hot girl not a nice girl. There are nice girls who are hot but that's the tricky part in finding her! No my advice don't become a jerk because all that would do is put you to the list of 1000 other jerks! And stop being shy ugh I cannot count how many times I've said this before to someone on here and in hope that they followed up on that advice - ok one if you have the courage to come up to her that's a plus for a girl, 2 if you say something nice not a stupid pick-up line (that can't help you with because anything that you say should come from your heart not from the middle at the bottom - in general speaking) 3 even if she rejects you she will still maybe rethink sometime later on because girls like a confident guy- a confident guy to be a man enough not a little boy who's shy - I mean I don't get it why do shallow idiots have the courage to come up yet nice guys feel afraid? And last but not least if she rejects you she never deserved you in the first place or it was never meant to be - you can't expect her to give you a chance maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she's at a stage right now where she's concentrating on the fact that she doesn't need a man to be there for her at night or maybe she'd been hurt and she's still afraid to come out and give another guy a chance - these things are there 24/7 and a guy can't say I'm afraid of rejection so are women but we still do it no matter what because we still have hope! And that's what you should have hope - good luck!

My boyfriend is a typical gentleman, nice guy, excellent character etc.. but he's a little boring for me. I don't mean that I don't respect that he is nice but sometimes I like a bit of spontaneity & excitement & that's basically not him at all. He is quite boring.

He doesn't have to be a bad guy. I don't want a guy to treat me like dirt. Any girl who puts up with that needs to re-evaluate herself but I want a guy who knows how to have a little fun & be daring.

Nice guys may finish last but jerks get a reputation.
& no one wants a bad rep.

There's a difference by having manners and being nice vs. being TOO nice. I LOVE the nice guy. I would take the nice go over the jerk...

But I would get annoyed by the too much niceness. We girls want a nice guy with a little independence. Because when you do things like hold open a door for people ALL the time, it takes the value away from it. So do those "nice" things some of the time.

You've had a lot of answers here, but one thing hasn't been discussed: what type of WOMAN are you going for? Are you going after the bitchy type? Or are you just taking what you (think you) can get? These are not good strategies!

Being shy and being a nice guy are not interchangeable. You can be nice and be outgoing - I am. If you're shy, you have to work on that. There's lots of help out there on the web, in books, therapy, etc. You do NOT have to be someone you aren't - you will not be happy if you are always wearing a mask.

Oh yeah - and please, don't take her back again! She is using you.

You know you'd never turn into a jerk because you're an intelligent and understanding guy, so less of that and use that intelligence of yours! You're not getting something here, that if something keeps happening over and over and we keep getting the result we don't want - doesn't that tell you something? That 'it's NOT WORKING' maybe? The way YOU ARE BEING IS NOT WORKING. Somewhere along the way you learned that being 'nice' to people got you what you wanted which worked when you were much younger maybe but in adulthood it can appear a little needy maybe, or creepy, trying too hard etc... Also, people with low self-esteem get targeted by others with low self-esteem...... x

There's a difference between being nice and being a pushover. Letting someone cheat on you, or even giving the impression that you might let someone cheat on you, is being a pushover. No one wants to have sex with a pushover. There's just nothing hot about it. And holding doors open for guys? WTF? Do they even like that?

You don't have to be a jerk to have sex, but giving off the vibe that anyone and everyone can walk all over you isn't likely to work. Girls (and probably guys too) feel special when they're treated differently from other people. If you treat everyone the same, you'll never make any girl feel like they really matter to you.

Wow! doode seriously no don't be a jerk. Your ex or whoever she is didn't know how to appreciate you and don't dwell on it she's not worth it. Girls LOVE shy guys and eventually if you don't make the move she will, believe me! =D

There should be more guys like you in the world... stay the same one day there will b a girl that will love everything about you be patient... girls sometimes don't know how good and nice it is to have the nice guy, when you find that girl you will be sooo happy.. I wish you the BEST

I hope this link can help you to find the answer for yourself. Take time to watch it, especially the LAST one.

You can be nice without being a jerk to women if that's what you want, but the problem is you give in to easily and women see this and take advantage, your ex did when she cheated on you, this is what she was thinking hmmm so and so is so nice and sweet and he's such a great guy, but that's just doesn't do it for them man, so what did she do, she cheated. You gotta step up and hate to say it but be a man about this, you have to stop worrying that your going to make them mad, dude who cares if you make them mad, if they start whining and complaing just tell them strait up no, and instead of asking them what they want to do to, tell them not in a mean way but be like hey picking you up in 20 mins be ready. If you do this they will respond and go ok be ready in 20 mins . Just don't let them walk all over you. Your main problem is this you have no confidence, you probably see some really hot girl and you think man I would like to get her number and then what do you do, you keep thinking that and you never go up to her and ask her anything, you just sit back and wait till she leaves and then go damn why didn't I talk to her. The best thing to do is don't fear rejection, it sucks yeah but everyone has been through it, and in fact if the more you get rejected learn from your mistakes, because that way if you don't fear rejection anymore, then you will be way more sucessful with women, trust me on that one. I have confidence, I don't fear rejection and well I get women its easy, the best advice I can give you is find one of your friends, everyone has this one friend whos the ladies man of the group and ask him for tips on how he gets women, go to a bar with him and watch what they do. If you want more advice from me send me a message now keep in mind I no expert but I've been playing this game for a while. So feel free to message me.

I've always been a nice person and I've been in three relationships, and in all three I was used because of being nice, and after each relationship I started to be less nice, and the less nice I was the longer the relationship lasted and the less I was used... but in the last one, which lasted the longest, I was still being used and I got cheated on for being nice, so I think that women always wonder why there are no nice guys and I'll tell you why, because when we were nice you treated us like crap and usually cheat on us, but don't be a jerk either because that only works on girls with low self-esteem and drug habits, I say be indifferent and don't try to get into a relationship, just let it naturally happen. Be strong and don't show emotion because that seems to signal women to cheat on you, and never tell a woman you love her because once you do she will OWN you....

Don't be either. Be a confident, at-times-cocky, person who acts in people's best interests. Don't suck up to girls but don't abuse them. There's a happy medium. Don't try too hard but do try.

First of all, Nice Guys do finish last but only if they allow it. There is a difference between being a nice guy and being speed bump. What I mean by that is that you can still be a nice guy but you don't have to allow your self to be walked on. I know because I am a nice guy who would let anyone and everyone walk all over me. Take some pride in your self and stand up for what you believe in.
Now, the current situation is just plain unacceptable. If this lady wants to take a break give her one. Very nicely and politely explain to her that she can take the rest of her life to sort out her feelings. She has cheated on you once and this is just an excuse to do it again. The whole being 26 and still a virgin is a whole other subject. My advice, dump her and find a nice lady that will appreciate you and respect you for who you are.

Is relationship all about sex??

being a nice guy is every woman's dream.

believe it, your dream will come true.

take care