What is your favorite joke?

Rated pg
little kids
little known maritime facts.
a number of primary schools were doing a project on "the sea. " kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (james age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like emily richardson. She's not my friend no more. (kyle age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (billy age 8)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (william age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (helen age 6)

9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (kevin age 6).

What's the worst thing to hear while having sex?

Honey I'm home.

What did the flower say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy! (fungi)

Poor Guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"

AND

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some f***in’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f***in’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the f***in’ French toast."

AND FINALLY

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

All those jokes are lame.
=d

Why does peter pan fly ?

If somebody hit you in the peter with a pan, you'd fly too. LMAO

Famous people walk on red carpets because they are famous. Me and you walk on toilet paper because we're THE SHIT!! LOL