Hello people girls and guys I need some opinions. I'm 21 and single I work I have my own car and all. thing is I dated but nothing serious in the past. Might sound weird because most guys tend to be more hard and have different mood than a girl but myself my dream is to get married soon to treat my girl like a princess to take her out to clubs to movies to eat etc to just lay down with her till we both fall asleep to just love each other so much. Most of the people in my family tell me this isn't a good thing to get married at young age that most marriages don't last nowadays and that most girls are after the cash now? what should I do? ; ;
If you find her, marry her. Don't think about everything else. People are too self-concerned these days. Marriage isn't a walk in the park, it's a walk in the woods. Sometimes you trip on a root and scrape your knee. You need to be dedicated. She needs to be dedicated. But love is love, and if you are in love stop thinking about divorce rates. Just because a lot of people get out when the going gets tough doesn't mean you have to.
Well, your folks are right. Most marriages nowadays don't last. And there are many reasons why they dont. See, we are more liberal now, more independent, more free. more everything, compared to the old days. Alot of people now don't see the real value and meaning of marriage. Its not all about love, happiness, and smiles. With marriage comes problems, sadness, pain, etc, too. But when you are young and inlove. you can't think of anything else, but waking up beside that person every single day.
Im not saying you are too young, but when the thoughts of marriage start creeping in your head, you have to put into consideration, the worst case scenarios, together with the best. Start asking yourself; are you financially capable of taking care of your wife, Can you give her a good life? Are you mentally and emotionally ready to commit? Are you ready to take the good with the bad?
Then you have to open your eyes to your relationship/gf. Is she the type who will fight for you? who will fight with you? who will be there for you no matter what? Is she the type who won't give up and run away? When you are in love and in la-la land, you only see the things you WANT. And that is why a lot of people make mistakes in marriage. It takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work. Compromises, sacrifices, patience, understanding, money. etc.
Think it through before you make that step. And be open to what other people have to say, and their stories of failed marriages. You might learn something from them.
My mom has always told me to not get married too young. I need to establish a job, and live my life. Party, go wild, just do what I want before I settle down. That way when I get married I won't have any regrets. (Example, Oh I wish I had ent out more when I was young etc). If you don't get it all out of your system, you will want to do it while you are married, This can cause problems in the marriage. Possibly even divorce. (Like if you go out and arty every night). I am not the partying type though, but mama still says let me get it all out of my system. Buy my dream car, get my dream job, just do what I want for a while Then I will be ready to settle down. But yo know better than anyone here.
Most people don't find someone they can be compatible with till they are like 26. Don't get married till you are 100% positive this will be the girl you can be with your whole life. And you can treat her like a princess before you get married. My parents never got married. They have been together for 27 years and are one of the most lovey couples I know. My dad always has told me that they are taking things "slow" and that's why they haven't, even though there are five of us kids. : D. Just don't jump the gun if your not sure.
I'd like to first comment, on how I Love how you would want to treat a girl, very sweet of you.
I do agree with lefthand in a way, but I mean if you know what you want nothing can get in the way of love. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm just saying, since I was proposed by the guy I love, we were never official, but it's like we knew we were for each other. He's three years older than me, 20, we agreed to marry when I got older. But I do plan on going to college, and doing something for myself, Which he knows and is okay with, I really can't wait to do all those things you described, like I said we were never official, you know.
As for marriages failing, I think most marriages end because people live in this 'instant satisfaction' moment and if things don't go their way they freak out and try to run away.
Marriage is a lot like a rose. It has beauty, it has depth, and it has thorns!
Both of you need to accept that some days will be thorny but as long as you both communicate and truly want to please each other, you'll survive the worst days to tell your grandchildren about the extraordinary love you both share for each other.
I firmly believe people need to wait until their late 20s at least, and preferably hold off until you're 30 or so. By that time you'll have made any life changes you're going to undertake, plus you'll have enough life experience to know what you want and don't want from a relationship.
The fact of the matter is that people change, and it isn't until you're older that you have a good idea of what the world has to offer. If you marry young there's a higher chance you'll regret it later, or things won't work out. You need look no further than current divorce statistics. The younger you marry, the worse your chances.
I have always retained the knowledge that you don't get married FOR love. Marriage isn't that next step, because love is a progression. As you love a person more and more, you come to the time in life where you know that you will never be with another. I am 25, house, cars, toys, job, and have been in the same situation since I was 19. I too have always dreamed of having a wife to cherish, and give the world to. I know that someday I will have kids, but not ready for that just yet! I want to be ready financially, mentally, emotionally! From the time I was 21 to know seems like things have changed so much, as most of my friends feel the same way! Find that person you can give the world to first, then consider moving in together. Get a dog after awhile together, at which point you might want to consider getting married. As a successful young guy, you are of course looking for that next great thing, and marriage is the logical choice. You aren't the first. Just live your life and have fun. Don't look to get married, because if you want it, the time will come, and the women of your dreams will be on your arm. Advice: have fun for now, and when the time comes, love will happen!
Marriage is not the answer to love, you need to find someone who you can love forever and then marry. its a big commitment and you have to be careful. its easy to fall in love with people and think "yeah I could spend the rest of my life with this person" but the thing is over time people change, well not really change but show their true colours, and although you may still love them if they are not putting 100% into the relationship (weather it be on purpose or because of some baggage they have and they take it out on your, there are many reasons) it won't work.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of a few years and we had a baby together, he wasnt a mistake, we agreed on it when we were in that lovey dovey stage, as time went on there were some majour issues which we couldnt resolve and we broke up. I still love her as a friend and maybe a little more, but we just didn't gel as a couple plain and simple.
anyway I say marriage is a great thing and go for it, but give the person you are with a couple of years before getting into a major thing like marriage and children, there is no reason you can't love and cherish them before the wedding anyway.
I don't recommend anyone get married before finishing college and working for a few years. That puts most people at 25+. I would strongly suggest living with someone for a few years before you get married, You'll learn a lot.
I kinda like this younger woman, she is only 20. I really care for her. I do feel for her as a friend but also have some feelings for her that won't...