I posted back in June about a perfect wonderful relationship I was in that ended with a pure blindsided breakup that left me very hurt and confused. Well, he's back. announcing that he's changed, and he's not the same person he once was, asking for my forgivness in the whole ordeal, and inviting me to get to know the new him.
Apparently he woke up one day and felt like his whole life was being planned out for him between me, work, and his friends so he washed his hands of it all and started new. Moved, new job, working out. just a whole new outlook on taking controle of his life. I asked him though. but when did I ever try to dictate your life? He said never, you were an unfortate casualty of it all.
Sweet things were said, emotions were brought back, and please before I say the rest know that he was a beautiful wonderful kind man and was probably the best relationship I've ever had. He agreed that our relationship was so perfect, and easy, and simple. but then said that can be a scary thing. That I don't get. why do we fear perfect and simple?
Sex however was not the same. it was full of anger. I was left the next day with two bruises on my face, one on my neck, one on each shoulder, and two bruised bite marks. I was never hit. it was just THAT rough. I'm going to talk to him about it and just say ok well I'm all for some rough fun. but if that's a ten then we need to bring it down to a 6! lol.
I'm going to attempt to get to know the new him. all of the old feelings of the perfect relationship have been dissolved. However, I'm feeling like I was wrapped up in the middle of some strange midlife crisis that may still be in process. I also noticed a drawer full of sex toys and condoms and that all really took me by surprise also the morning after. Small bit of defense on his part. he asked several times Am I hurting you, I don't want to hurt you. but I think I was just kind of numb to the moment of being back in his bed that I just went with the flow and gave him what he wanted.
Although I have a curious caution regarding him now (both emotionally and physically) I wonder has he always been like this and just hid it from me? Is he going through some twisted midlife crisis? Can people really change that drastically or could this just be a phase? I don't know. its all so odd!
get to know the real new him first, talk to him, have him open up 2 u. a perfect life is scary because you don't want the world to take it away from you, so as humans we end up destorying it ourselves (its our nature). ease up on the sex and tell him that he needs to be a little more romantic sbout it. help him but his life back together, let him know that ur there 4 him. tell him, better yet assure him that every thing will be better than b4. tell him that u'll back him up all the way and support him in his time of need. be the shoulder he needs to lean on.
i think you need to cool down and hold back for a second to think , especialy about the brusies while you having sex with him , try to talk to him and understand what's going on with him exactly , at least you could make you're mind if you want to go back with him again or not , think real hard before you make a decision you'll regret about later .
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