This is a little long. I'm sorry. My Boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me Friday saying his hearts not in it and he just wants to be alone for a while. He said that since he had been with his wife for 13 years (since he was 17) he never had any time to just be alone. I must note here that he is in separation mode. I worked with him in the past and we became great friends. I helped him through his decision to separate from his wife. He will be filing for divorce this summer. Anyhow, this is a man that fell head over heels in love with me and spoiled me, treated my kids and I wonderfully, etc. Since January he has been feeling overwhelmed. New job, missing his daughter, family members ailing, etc. He has wanted his space for a while. So I agreed to give him space when he needed it. And I did just that. Sometimes I reacted strangely to him changing plans at the last minute, but I told him to give me 5 minutes and I will usually think about what I said and then I can explain.
Well things started getting back to normal and he even said this. But throughout the past few months, all he does is make jokes about breaking up, that we've had a good run, etc. This started causing me to put up my walls again since it seemed every Monday he was wanting to break up. I was afraid to say anything wrong or do anything wrong. It was like walking on eggshells. But this is still a man who would text and call me each morning, at lunch, IM during the day and then call me 3 or 4 times a night. Even during his 'days away from everyone. ' And even if we were having a few issues.
Last Friday I asked him if we could please just take a break instead of breaking up. He said he knows himself and knows his opinion will not change, especially since he didn't talk to me all weekend and he still felt the same. Then he admitted he kept his daughter all weekend, so he didn't spend any time alone to think. So far he has had Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night to think. And today he picked up his clothes from my place and said he would give me my key back soon. I just responded with 'ok. '
The week before last everything was great. He even came over that Sunday cause he was missing us. Then Monday he said that the next Saturday he would have to do his work thing alone and I would have to do my bday (a friend's) thing alone. I said 'gessh, we never do any activities with friends together anymore. ' Instead of taking this at face value, it made him FUME (his wording). But we hadn't hung out with friends together in a while. So Tuesday when he came over he was fine. Then Thursday he decided to not come over so he could veg. I was okay with that. Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd phone call of the night he wanted to break up. Started making those comments again. Friday we broke up. I don't get it. Why love me so much one minute and decide to not want me or talk to me the next? Does he honestly just need a serious break or is this all my fault?
Update: I would like to add that this is a guy that always called me beautiful, honey, baby, etc. Giving me sweet kisses on top of my head during movies, etc. If I would have been perfect, would he still need space after being with someone 13 years?
3 months ago
He really just seems overwhelmed and doesn't know quite what to do. So he's probably thinking if I break up with you I can get myself straight again which really isn't true. Your probably better off together fixing the problems causing it. The new jobs, missing his daughter, having family members who are ill this comes with a ton of stress and his way of coping is to try to escape it and that is by leaving you. Trust me he still loves you, I really hope you guys figure it out.
Yeah, he is just very sensitive when it comes to everything right now. He is very stubborn, so talking with him right now is probably the wrong approach. He did say he didn't want to play with my emotions by being up and down like this. - 3 months ago
WTH? This is man is playing with your mind. He is not in no separation mode, and he is still with his wife. What woman would want to help someone divorce their spouse. What friend does that? What type of woman are you to even subject yourself and your kids to some BS like this. Count your losses and leave this man alone for good. Don't keep going back and forth with someone who really does not love you. Why are you reacting strangely towards him? This man is married. Oh he's getting a divorce this summer, "yeah right".
I've been dating this guy for about three months and everything had been going great. He had a parent pass away the week after I met him and when he...
View Answers
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 3 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
