I met a guy 8 years ago online and we talked for 4 months and decided to try to be together. Few months later he went to college and became busy with studies so we didn't work out. We managed to stay in touch until we both started to see other people. He was dating a 16 year old girl which is ok where he is from and I told him all she was going to do is cheat. This was partly because I was jealous. Well we started to fight and stop talking to each other. I fell in love with the guy I was seeing. 7 years pass I still thought about my ex at times and I was going to get married within 6 months when my ex and my friend got sick. So I tracked him down and got in touch. After we talked about our friend I let him go. He emailed me and told me I could call sometime. He was with a girl at the time also but we talked as friends. Within a few weeks he left his girl and he told me it was because he still loved me. He asked if I felt the same. I avoided the subject because I knew I loved him but was scared because I was involved. Well I did go to see him and we kissed. I felt horrible and told my fiance at the time. We broke up but had to live in the same place because of our lease and either had another place to go. I started my relationship and we fought a lot but would always apologized. Two months later I FLEW DOWN TO see him and we made love and he told me after that he couldn't wait to marry me. He always hold me in public and we kissed and always said I love you. Fours months later I broke up with him and he stop talking to me saying he couldn't be with someone who broke up with him every week. After months of not hearing from him I flew down to see him so I COULD TRY TO explain why I did what I did. He wouldn't see me but called me. He lied and said he couldn't see me because he had a girl. I asked if he ever loved me and he said yes but he wanted to be left alone. I found out after going home that he did lie he never had a girl and that he thought I cheated on him and now he doesn't love me but doesn't hate me and that he can't be my boyfriend anymore and hardly can be my friend. Two months later I texted him just wondering how he was and I got a message back it was the number I texted so he responded. What should I do and is he sending mixed messages. I left him because I got scared. I just miss him and if we can't be together I want to be friends. My friend is a counselor and she said it is the the fact that he still loves me but is really hurt. I want someone else is opinion because I care for him a lot.
I'm afraid I have to question just how much you really care for this guy. You come off as being so inwardly focused that it is hard to question his desire to not want to be with you in any way, shape or form. He felt compelled to lie because you had torn his heart out again. That had to be an awful feeling for him. As to what you can do going forward, I really believe your counselor should be working with you to get you to be more inwardly focused -- you sound totally insecure and uncomfortable with yourself. It may be too late for you with this guy but given your current state, I can't imagine it would ever workout. I don't mean to be harsh but you really hurt this guy and seem to be focused more on convincing him that you were just scared rather than looking at yourself to answer why you are so insecure to the point that you destroyed a relationship that had so much potential.
I really do care for him! I have always cared for him but I am insecure because he has hurt me before. You aren't being harsh! I admit I wasn't the best girl but I never cheated and I love him. I always loved him. I just don't know what to do. - 3 months ago
Well, it could work if you two would come to some sort of compromise. If one of you feels scared tell the other one. He still has feelings or after all the years apart you two would not have gotten together. He is afraid. He got hurt. He is guarding his heart. Ease into a friendship with him but keep the lines of communication open. You are going to have to regain his trust in order for a friendship or anything else to work.
I really love her married 10 years have two kids . I tell her I love her and she says ok . Then a couple of days ago you may love me but I don't love...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
Dinner, drinks and lots of good conversation. We'd talk about our sexuality and what we're looking for. What we've enjoyed and what we want to try. If all goes well we'd go back to her place and experiment.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
That I'm honest, sincere, not going to lie to get her into bed, or lie to keep her out of it.
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