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How do I deal with a break up and losing a best friend at the same time?

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Anonymous User (Age:25 to 29)     When: 2 months ago
Views: 157     Category: Break-Up
HI, I've just recently broken up with my girlfriend of almost 6 years. This is proving to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with in my life. We met when we were 20, and in a move I now see was detrimental, ended up moving together about 7 months later. We had been living together ever since and had really good and bad moments. For various reasons, we started really drifting away from each other and in the end, things didn't work.

During the last month or two of our relationship, my girlfriend ended chatting and talking with my best friend, who also happens to be my coworker, regarding the things that were wrong in our relationship. They say it was strictly platonic at first but that it became something more as they talked more and more. Long story short, they end up forming some type of emotional connection, which at the time I had no idea about. More on this a little later.

About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend and I decided that we would break up. This alone was so difficult for me to deal with. However, our situation is complicated in that my girlfriend has no where to move out to and is not really financially stable at the moment. She moved from out of state to be with me and has no family or really close friends here that she could stay with. Because of this, rather than kick her out, I'm letting her stay with me until she can get her finances in order. It's hard seeing her everyday and not being able to act the same way around each other that we used to. I still love her so much and if the situation arose, I would get back together with her if we could overcome the reasons why we broke up in the first place.

Going back to the situation with my girlfriend and best friend. It is this situation that is proving to be the hardest to deal with. The break up was painful but in the end we both decided it was necessary for us. But now, my ex-girlfriend and now ex-best friend are now seeing each other in hopes of finding out if they want a relationship of their own. This has made me an emotional wreck. I feel like I didn't get the initial time to heal from my break up and now I have to deal with the fact that my former best friend is trying to become romantically involved with my ex not even a month after we break up. Because we are coworkers, I am going to have to face him everyday and remember and relive all the pain of the past few weeks.

So in less than a month, I've lost my girlfriend and best friend. I would have used my friend as a way of escaping the situation with my ex but I can't do that because he has become part of the situation. So not only do I have to deal with my breakup at home, I have to deal with it at work too now. I've asked them if they could put their "relationship" on pause, which does sound selfish of me, until at least I can get my emotions in check, but they seem against that idea, claiming what they have is special.

I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do.

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kiamia
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kiamia (Age:18 to 24)      When: 2 months ago
Well I am sorry to hear your story, sounds like you are a decent guy.
But for me it seems that neither of your ex nor your ex-best friend respect you, and you are letting them walk all over you. How can they be so selfish and especially your ex-girlfriend who is living at your place should respect your feelings and treat you with respect, as she is dependent on you.
Do you think it is possible to get a new work or move away, you could use a fresh start?
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What Guys Said

Just-A-Random-Guy
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Just-A-Random-Guy (Age:18 to 24)      When: 2 months ago
Wow. I don't know what to say. You've been thrown under the bus by both of them. Beating up your co-worker will make you feel much better. Other than that, all I can say is good luck. The next few months will really be tough for you, but you have to stand strong, brother. She'll regret pulling this one day, but by that time a guy like you will definitely found a better girl than her. Don't sweat it.

Just A Random Guy
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