Just some background on my situation: My friend and I are trying to start a relationship. We have known each other since high school (over 10 years). His last girlfriend borrowed some money from him and has yet to give it back. He owns his own business and is very successful for his age. Yesterday he told me that he is going to get a second job so that he can have some extra money. When I asked him why at first he repeated that it was just for extra money then he said it was for me. "You like to have money don't you and if I had extra money and you needed some I would give it to you. " He knows that I would never ask him for money and never have. I borrowed a dollar from him one time to put in the copier when we were in school and repaid him. (He made me take it, I would have rather gotten a lower grade on a project than to have borrowed money from him)
I have a very good job and don't need money from him. Usually I can tell when he is joking and he was dead serious. It kind of caught me off guard. Is he testing me or is he talking about the future, a future with me and him together?
From my view all I can see is he want a future with you, nothing more doesn't sounds like a test to me unless he had some kind of questioning emotion when he ask.
He didn't say anything about asking her old girlfriend's money back, so to me he's not testing you about money. Having second job could means he want a back up money for your and his future(like marriage) in case if anything happen to his very successful business.
Almost all guy who truly love his woman would want to "take care" of them rest of his life, that could be the reason why he said if you need money he can give it to you.
He has asked his girlfriend for the money back and they have worked out some kind of deal for her to repay it, but she has not paid him back yet. With this second job and his store, he would be working from 11 pm basically until 6 pm the next day and trying to function on almost 4 hours of sleep. I think that maybe he was saying this because he does not want to get burned again and wants to be reassured that I wouldn't do that to him. IDK, but the conversation just threw me off balance. - 2 months ago
Answerer
He didn't mention about his last gf money thing when he said the if you need money he will give it to you thing right? if he didn't I'm sure nothing big. If you really want to know if he was testing you, you could always ask face to face, after all Trust and Honestly is what keep a relationship going in my opinion. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
No he did not mention it at the same time. I knew that before he said anything to me about getting a second job. It has been about a month since he told me that she had borrowed money from him. I am going to talk to him today about it. Thanks! - 2 months ago
Sounds like he's doing both. He's testing you to see your true attitudes about money, and at the same time he's testing the water on the potentiality of a possible relationship. Nothing wrong with that, he just wants to see how you really feel about issues like finances and possibly a relationship. Makes sense, since his ex shafted him out of that money. I'd say just play it cool and be honest about it. Just keep being yourself and he'll get the picture.
Thanks for the advice. I really wanted to hear what guys had to say about this. I guess he just wants some reassurance. It just caught me off guard. Our conversations are starting to change from joking and him making me laugh to him telling me where he is going and what he is going to be doing. I am not used to him telling me his schedule for the afternoon. I am having to shift my mentality from "friend" to possibly "girlfriend. " - 2 months ago
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