I dated a guy, it ended because he was not ready to be serious. Same guy I have been talking about for months. We remained friends and became really close good friends. We flirted through out all of this, saw each other once in awhile, did nice things for each other. Kissed a couple of months ago, went and did something together after that, then we finally had sex again a couple of weeks ago. Just pure sex, for an hour and that was it. It was fun, we liked it, he was sweet after that for my birthday, lots of birthday wishes via text and emails. We live far apart, after that, all last week he has been really quiet, and now this week we have not emailed each other personally, we just have both sent each other silly joke emails like we always have. Finally I sent him an email to say hope you are ok, know you are going thru a lot with losing your home etc and work etc, and that I hope what we did, (the sex) did not make him feel weird, it is not what I wanted to happen and that he can tell me anything, I am there for him. Same things I have been saying since we met. I know my behavior has not changed since any of this happened. I am not sad if things do not progress to being more than friends, I just know I wont' sleep with him again. It was built up passion all these months of flirting with each other. usually he is good about talking to me and opening up a little bit when he gets quiet. I am wondering if he met someone else. Maybe he did. We do live far apart. If he did, I wish he could tell me. I want him to be happy and if he found it with someone closer to him, that is just the way things are supposed to be. His friendship means the world to me and I hope that he would feel comfortable telling me this. Guys, would he tell me if there was someone else? He knows me well enough that I would not be angry. I just don't know what to think.
Usually when a guy meets someone new he just stops talking to the old girl and he prob won't tell you found someone new, until you see him with another girl, he might just like you as a friend and when you had sex it was just a one time thing. If you want tell him your ok with him and happy that he found a new girl, this will make him go ok cool she's cool with that so he will prob start to talk to you again as long as you make it clear that you don't like him like that.
True, I stopped talking to a guy I had dated when I met someone else. With this guy, we talked today actually and he may come over for dinner later, on his way to his sisters. This guy and I live 100 miles apart also, so we don't see each other that often. I would love nothing more for him to be happy, with or without me, I adore him that much. I think it is all good, even if he considering stopping by to have dinner with me and my daughter. - 2 months ago
No, he will not tell you if he'd met someone else. Regardless of what you say, you would be affected by it.
You are worrying yourself, he may or may not have met someone else, it's true, but you are scaring yourself with fear. He could just be drifting apart, or he has been really stressed out. The problems and reasons he has for not fully contacting you are limitless.
Friendship can still be salvaged, but not as long as he thinks you are still emotionally attached to him. Perhaps you need to break up with him (if you haven't yet) and then pursue a friendship.
Thanks. It has been the stress going on his life. He told me yesterday. We are cool. He said he appreciates my being his friend and since he went away with his buddies on bike run for a few days he is back to reality and his life is stressful right now, losing his home and working 12 hrs a day. - 2 months ago
Answerer
Then, regardless of whether or not you two are emotionally ready to really engage in a long-term relationship, perhaps is not the best time to do so.
I'm glad that it is only stress and not something more serious.
Not to worry you, but the line "I was really stressed out" is usually a good lie that is used when you are avoiding someone; however, because he is working so hard, and has lost his home, I doubt there is an ulterior aspect of this statement. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks. He never says he is really stressed out.. I know when he is distant for a day or two, he is stressed out and then admits it. He works two jobs and was trying to keep his home. He actually asked me for help in writing a letter to the bank/realtor for him and for him to ask for help was very hard for him to do, but made me feel good. I adore him and he has been told that many times by me. I however have not put my life on hold for him, I can't & won't. - 2 months ago
Thanks. I do care for him. It would break my heart to lose our friendship we have built up because we gave into our built up passion. I will have to just see if he contacts me. I truly want him as a friend if nothing else. - 2 months ago
I can understand you feelings and you must be so hurt now and wondering. That's the price to pay for having sex too randomly without deep love and commitment. His conquest is over and you were too easy. Right now he feels guilty and doesn't want to tell you because he knows it will hurt your feelings even more. If you really like him just try to keep contact and let him know your true feelings through an email. If he doesn't respond to that I'd say it's all over other than maybe remaining some kind of casual friends.
I am not hurt though. I am not sad. I would be sad if our friendship is over. That would suck. So flirting with him via emails for six months, and then going on a couple of dates, making out, hanging out with my daughter, (all of us), then finally having sex again two weeks ago is a conquest? - 2 months ago
Thank you. I agree as well. WE have communicated yesterday and it was good. planning on getting to make get together so my daughter can meet his puppy. she is very excited about that.. - 2 months ago
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