By showing the other that it's cool in your actions, responses, and words, that your not offended and you enjoy the constructive criticism. In my opinion there is no problem with that, some do deal with it better than others. It seems we lie to prevent harm, when in the end it merely causes more. If we would as you imply just be straight with one another at times, it sure could be nice!
After 6 years I would think that there would be little to lie about unless he has some deep dark secret. It really depends on what the lie is about I think. You may want to just ask him strait out about the issue and if he is comfortable he'll tell you the truth. Again, it really depends on what the lie is about. After 6 years though, and if you're not harsh about it right away, he should be able to tell you the truth about things. After all, no one is perfect and once you've been together long enough to know you don't have to impress each other for the relationship to work, it should be fine. It all depends on what the lie is about though. Sorry I can't help much more than that.
A friend of mine once said that the first three months of being with someone is all a show and that after that time you start to see the real person. I think she was right about that for most people. We dress up and try to pull in the person we're interested in and right from the start that's a lie. A white lie....not meant to do any harm, but we aren't being truly our selves. Past that, it really depends on the person. Some people lie to cover up the mistakes they make, to try and hid that they are not perfect. Some people lie cause they don't want to deal with the hassle and don't think they need to explain themselves anyway. It's just easier to lie. Is it excusable, well that depends on what they lie was about. Certainly telling you mom that she looks nice in her new dress when she looks a little odd is excusable because she really liked the dress. If a girl or guy lies while cheating, probably not very excusable. Being more honest first off means being comfortable. After all, lies are use to hide discomfort- to keep us safe. If you want honesty you have to be comfortable with the other person and them with you. Being honest with someone who is closed minded and judgemental is not comfortable. These are the kinds of things you have to work into slowly, over time getting to where you can admit things you wouldn't normally because you trust and are comfortable with the person you are speaking with. I hope this helped a little
You can become more honest by not lying about anything, become used to being more open about everything including little things, and do not be afraid of what the other person will think or feel. That is why we lie so often the fear of being judged or getting into trouble or just saving ourselves from the nagging when in reality it just causes way more friction when you lie. Especially when the other person finds out - big or small - trust is lost...
So start with yourself; tell the truth about everything no matter what. If you do not want to tell the truth say you do not want to talk about it at this time and that is it. You can encourage it by doing it yourself and hoping that your partner does the same. Talk to them. Tell them you want an honest relationship and that's all you can really say. The rest is up to them as far as what they do is concerned you just keep yourself feeling good by being completely honest. It will make you feel so much more free as well as open minded.
You have valid points: -trust is lost -being honest yourself can help promote honesty with others However, sometimes people still aren't honest with you. Some folks are sure you are judging them because they judge themselves. - 6 months ago
I think that depends on the individual person. Some people lie, some people don't. I'm not gonna lie (right now). I do tell little lies here and there, but when it comes down to the important stuff, I'm completely honest. It's just too bad not everybody can be "good."
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