Was I out of line mentioning money?

I have bought gifts for my man ( love to in fact) and never bring it up--why--because I don't feel the monetary aspect of giving is something to even remark about. Once a gift is given, it is no longer my possession in any aspect--I don't even know what the things I gave to my hubby costs any more, and if we were to break up, I wouldn't even think about wanting them back, like some people do.

Anything I ever bought a lover was from me to them, or I wouldn't have bought it. In one way yes, it can make a woman feel bought when money is tossed around, or like the money you spent on her bothers you. We all know that as adults, we sometimes joke about things that are really bothering us, and if you are the main bread winner, or make more than her, she is probably uncomfortable about it. For that reason alone, even if you meant noting by it, just apologize and don't bring it back up ( unless you want a fight) LOL...

Ouch. You used the how much money have I spent on you line?! *cringe. Well, even if you didn't mean it, I know I hate when guys say that to me. Well, only one guy has said it, but it makes me feel like he feels like he has to spend money on me to make me happy. Almost like I'm using him and it's not the case. So I'll say, while you meant it as nothing offensive, please try not to say that. Just don't use it again.

Whilst it was an innocent off-hand comment, it was kind of tasteless even though you obviously didn't mean it that way.

Saying that "sometimes when I really think about it" implies that you have given it some thought, and often. Which might make her think you sit there all the time adding up how much you have spent on her.......she probably feels that you might begrudge it or expect her to be constantly grateful.

If you didn't mean anything by it, then make sure she knows that and don't bring it up again.

If you bought her things and spent that money on her to make her happy, leave it at that. She knows you spend money on her, no need to bring it up like that. LadyLush is right though, don't bring it up anymore, and you'll be fine, so will she.

When you make "jokes" like that it makes a girl feel as if your implying she owes you something or that you don't like spending money on her as if she were too much or something.... especially if your girl is an independent woman and likes doing things for herself more, has always taken care of herself that remark would be offensive because it's like your throwing things you have done on your own in her face... She doesn't ask for all that stuff, you most likely do it on your own therefore saying it was out of line, if you meant nothing by it then let it go. Don't bring it up again and definitely no more joking about it...... Dollar value or not she feels as if you think you have something over her head and that's a bad feeling especially when it comes to financial so don't be hurt just let it go, she should be fine.

I think you're right. I get that it's suave to pay bills and never mention them. That's stylish. But if you made an offhand comment about the money you spent and meant nothing by it, then I don't see that as such a big deal. People are often uncomfortable if they feel like the other person is contributing the most money to their relationship and I wonder if she doesn't feel a little bit bad about that and is projecting her feelings on to you.

Don't bring it up again and definitely don't bring it up if you two are arguing about something else (yikes!) because that will not turn out well for you. But I think you are guilty of making a bad joke, very little more. I think your status as a gentleman is undamaged.

I'm sorry,... I feel bad but this made me laugh a little. Just because I have been in situations like this and had to take a trip to the hospital to have my foot removed from my mouth.

You know,... if you are buying GIFTS, then you should not bring up the fact that you bought them, they were gifts (unless you are always getting her big ticket items, and she gets you Pez dispensers).

But,... if you are always helping her out with bills, there might be something there that is bothering you (psychologist would say that your subconscious mind made you say that because it is weighing on you, Freud would say you want to sleep with your mother,... weird guy). If you two get married, then you will share finances,... but if you are always helping her with bills because she is not responsible with her money, that could cause problems (this is the reasons most marriages fail), and you really need to look at this, and try to solve it now.

If, you are helping her because she just has a large debt load, and work is tough (school loans, car loans, etc.), and she is responsible (you are just helping her get on her feet), then don't hold that over her,... you offered, and if you do hold it over her head, it will create feelings of resentment.

I think this comes down to,... is she responsible or isn't she. If she isn't, address it, because you will now be married to it. If she is, then apologize with something sparkley (a diamond perhaps) and for the love of God, don't tell her how much it cost.

Best of luck.