Why do women do things in disguise or under the covers?

I don't wear all the girly stuff, I hate makeup, I hate high heels there so hard to walk in. I'm 5'3 and I happy with that height, I'm always telling people how I feel no matter who it be I tell it how it is. I used to hide myself and be insecure but no longer am. I would also like to know why people are scared of questions like this there is nothing to be ashamed off or scared of we have all been there so just ask it without hiding.

I don't wear makeup, I'm 5'3" and I don't wear high heels, and the only accessories I wear are cause bracelets, a few rings (which all have personal significance), and a necklace I got from my grandfather before he died; if I'm hiding anything, it's a flair for fashion.

Obviously women aren't all the same, but I don't try to change myself physically or hide who I am in order to cover up my insecurities. I'm a noticeably shy person, and that's where my insecurities are. I may wish that I could change at times, but at the end of the day I don't think there's anything wrong with being quiet.

Overall, I would say I'm pretty accepting of myself.

Men, put on dashing suits, some drive fancy cars, some carry wads of cash, some put on tons of cologne and gel there hair, some spend hours in a gym working on there muscles to enhance their level of attraction just the same as woman. Correct? Why do you guys put on fronts and not reflect who they truly are? Are you really that insecure?

Bottom-line. It all depends on the person. It has nothing. Nothing at all to do with gender. If you are looking for a girl that you can create a "real" relationship with then you can find them, they are everywhere. But, you have to make it happen. People are not just going to meet and spill the beans about who they are and what they want. That would be a bit strange. It could be that maybe girls do not feel that comfortable around you to share themselves with you. This is not being insecure maybe it is an unwillingness to open up with you. :-) Maybe somehow you are not showing them the true reflection of you. Mr. Player for life. Now I am sure that is not the case I am sure you are very nice and easy talk to etc. But most woman I know have no problem tell people they comfortable with their thoughts and feelings.
In any case it is pretty silly to single out the female gender as the one and only gender that does this. Come on "Homer" you are smarter than this. Are you not?

As for who we are and what we have to deal with as women in general. We accept it, we may not like it but we accept it and continue to fight the good fight for the fairy tale ending anyway. Now that is a girl thing. Something you boys will never get or understand. Unfortunately. But we can still dream.

Peace~

I actually like this question and I don't take offense to it either. The funny thing that I have found so far is that. Yes girls, esp high maintenance ones, dress up, put makeup on, look their best, usually at the beginning are on their best behaviour and appear to be someone that they are not.

They attract a whole bunch of people who really arnt right with them and only like them for the fake facade that they have applied on themselves. Yet ironically ultimately all a girl wants is to settle down with, is someone who can see straight through it all and still like her at the end of the day

I guess the hair and the makeup and the good behaviour is to attract attention. In a sense its a test for the guy .. saying "hey this is me at my best" ... " Now you still gonna like me when I'm in my trackies and feel sick from food poisoning" .... N if the guy sticks around .. well then you have a winner. LoL

Cheers

Hot Alpha Female

I must admit that I stumbled over this site and your question, but it seems rather judgmental of you to state that all women wear make-up, heels and their agenda is generally under covers. We are all different beings.

And seeing as you range on the 30 - 35 years, I would have thought that you might have met a few controversial women to make you realize, that it's not about gender, it's about personality.

It also might be the fact that I live in Denmark, and therefore perceive it differently. Under all circumstances - I love looking like s**t, which I do all school-days :)

I wear make-up only when working, but seeing as I'm a waitress and I work with some of the most beautiful ladies and gentlemen, I feel that I have to measure up. And I tell that to them: That they are attractive, that is.

I'm quite real. Not posted anonymously.

I don't do relationships. This needs no comments.

I just bought my first pair of heels, which makes me 1,81 cm, at the age of 22. /Late bloomer.

I never lie. When confronted with some issue I'd rather not talk about, I'll tell people exactly that.

And ladies; "Does he like me?" Well, since you're asking, he probably does. If it gives reason to questioning, then it probably has origin somewhere, so stop playing insecure?

I wrote a huge long answer... but it's pointless because all you need is a phrase.

>Everyone is different.<

Think about it.

I would like to point out that maybe you have met people like that, so have I, but not all girls are like that. I wear makeup only when it is a fancy party or another occasion where it is called for and even then it's basic, basically nothing; it covers me up just a little. I am comfortable and love my natural height but I do wear high heels. It is usually just because they look good and I like them, not because I want to be taller at all. I usually speak my mind and am very blunt and honest and will answer any question anyone has the guts to ask me.

As to the "Does he like me's?" I would like to defend some of those who ask them in that it is just as hard for a girl or a guy to come out with your feelings. Some of them are petty and you really do need to just ask, but there are situations where a second opinion would be nice because sometimes there is a lot at stake and that simple opinion can prepare you or give you an outside look at the situation. It can have nothing to do with insecurity at all and be purely based on wanting to make an educated and informed move as opposed to shuddering and crawling through asking something and confronting what could be your biggest fear - which isn't necessarily rejection but maybe the loss of a very good friend because of their reaction and not wanting to risk that because you have a crush.

I never wear make-up. I'm myself with whoever I'm with once I get comfortable. If I don't know you I tend to more quiet, but I don't lie or try to hide anything about myself. Personally, I hate heels and refuse to wear them. The only accessories I wear are bracelets and my favorite hemp necklace that I all made by myself. I wear them not to hide anything, just to show off my creative side.

I'm realistic, and keep any romantic thoughts to myself. if I have to tell a guys something, I talked to a few close people in my life (including guys) and I WILL eventually confront the guy in question. I never leave anything unsaid, because I hate regretting something I didn't do more than something I did do.

A simple question like "Does he like me?" might be asked anonymously out of insecurity, but also probably might to keep things like that private. Sometimes people get easily embarrassed, even if it's over the internet with people they don't even know.

I think you need to change the way you think about things like this. Everyone is different and I clearly am an example of the complete opposite person you described. So therefore, you're wrong. You can't generalize women in just one category. I don't generalize guys.... ever. I'll say it again. Everyone's different and that's what makes meeting new people so exciting. You never know what they'll be like.

Okay I already agree with a lot of what the men said about how men are the same way just differently, but I think you are angry for some reason about what is pretty normal from society.

First of all, women dress like that for superficial assholes who will completely ignore a normal nice looking girl, for a bleached out blond with curled locks, red high heels way too short skirt and tight clothes with her enormous breasts popping out. Because the truth is you get more attention if you dress and look like that (the problem is the attention is only going to end up in the bedroom and no where further). Women want to look sexy, feel sexy, desired and wanted by every man on earth. Society (and men) tell us that we are only going to feel like that if we look like bimbo barbie. Sure a hell of a lot of women don't act or dress like that, or only partially like that but they are a small overlooked percentage of the population.

As for your other issue, it sounds like you are angry at people just because they don't feel comfortable disclosing who they are. Again that is very normal especially when it comes to people expressing how they feel. Most people hate rejection, hate being put on the spot and looking like an idiot. Feeling uncomfortable disclosing who they are and their opinion to people they don't know and are not comfortable with. That's just f***ing normal even on the internet, people are self centered as hell and they think everyone is watching them (when in fact no one really gives a shit). Women do the same damn thing with their guys (and guys do the same) you check with your close friends and buddies before you say something stupid to your man and look like an idiot. And you are right, there are people out there that are simple not good with confrontation and have no real reason not to tell their significant other how they feel but f***, that's just how people are get over it and get over yourself.

Because, its sexy damnit!!

I have to disagree in the biggest way. My girlfriend speaks her mind and I love it, She goes after what she wants, it's what grabbed my attention. The only thing she's afraid of is someone close to her might judge her, Someone she loves, So sometimes she's afraid to tell me things. She thinks that I'll get angry, which actually amuses me, I'm really laid back. When we first started going out she had forgotten that she had told me she was bisexual, and had taken a week to get the courage to tell me. I, of course, couldn't help but laugh; I thought it was cute. My girlfriend doesn't wear make-up either. I know there are several answers that are better than mine, but people aren't always so closed off. I am, but I know why I am. I'm also open that the door's not locked, all someone needs to do is turn the knob and take a peek inside.

I think it is hard to be open about ourselves. That takes a lot of trust and faith in the person you know. I think I can count 6, maybe 7, people I've known in my life (plus one cat) that have liked me for "me," without any decorations or additional characteristics needed. With everyone else, I have a level of honesty, but also a level of guardedness. And in that I think I am similar to most people. I think that part of the magic of a true relationship, be it with a girl or guy, with a family member, etc. is the gradual increase of trust and increasing ability to show oneself, as they say, warts and all.

The personality that people display is often the one that gets them the most in social settings (and which they are most comfortable with). It seems that for women in our culture, physical adornments are the most common due to our obsession with a) sex and b) women's body images. I think the attempts to look as good as possible serve two purposes - one being to bring good things (good guy, good job) and the other to ward off bad things (rejection, fear). Both purposes are to protect and support the inner person. There's a sense in which these things can be a disguise, but I think the word "uniform" could be used as well. At my previous job I wore a tailored suit to work every day for the first couple of years I was there. No one else dressed that well. I did it because it was my uniform, my way to get into my work character.

I think it's a similar thing for guys and girls, in that we all have a core that we try to protect. And I think that the answer a lot of times is yes, we are really that insecure. People can be nasty and it's just easier to have some character between you and others that you don't know well. It's a way to protect oneself. For example, I'm a Colts fan. I wasn't too happy when they lost to the Patriots earlier this year. But, you know what? Marvin Harrison was out, so Colts fans can say that the team wasn't at its best - same thing with creating an image for the world that reflects but doesn't reveal your true self.

I think people ask anonymously because some of the answers have less to do with the question itself than with the emotional trigger it hits with the person responding. Looking at the responses to this question reflects that; other than lovebird01, the responses are rather venomous. Why? Something about your question has upset the responders.

On the other hand, disguises are dangerous. As Hawthorne noted: "No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true."

Your comment below says this is a rhetorical question, meaning you want to make a statement in the form of a question and you don't care about people's answers or thoughts on the subject. This statement will probably just make more women from complexes about themselves and grow more insecure. No intention to learn why women do certain things the way they do huh? Wow, sure glad you are giving a lot of advice on this site.

Men with no money wear suits to bars to enhance their level of attraction and try to pick up women by bullshitting.
Some men will get so caught up in their own ego, they will arrogantly believe they are more important than what they are and live in dreams that they create in their minds not real relationships.
Some men think that real men don't need help, so they never really try to understand the opposite sex, in the meantime their marriage is struggling or they are very frustrated for some reason and they don't understand why.
Some men will have kids with women and disappear, leaving them stuck with a lifetime of child support bills and emotional work. Either by not caring or a fear of the time and work it would take to be a real father.
A woman who is bitter and dosen't see the good side of men might say: What are you guys so scared of? Why can't you accept who you are or what you have and deal with it? Why cover yourselves up with blings, lies, dreams or other ways of disguise? Are you really that insecure?