I'm dating someone, and he never calls me, he expects me to call him, but when I do he's busy at work. So I tell him to call me but he doesn't. And he says he wants to be with me and yada yada yada. But he never calls. Why??
Update: Ya I'm going to tell him it's over. He just doesn't put in the effort. I don't call him every hour. I text him once and a while (not every hour). He never calls, he didn't even call to say Merry Christmas yesterday.
6 months ago
Update: I don't call him everyday, he's busy with work. I call him a few times a week. I text him once every day letting him know he can call me when he has free time but he never does. It's over. I didn't even get a happy new year. So I'm single again lol.
6 months ago
My girlfriend calls me like every night... it became a routine. It also annoys me that she talks to me every day... you wonder why most guys hate their wives after age 40 and want to go golfing all the time is because of that reason, sometimes girls won't stop getting in our grizzly ya dig?
I didn't want to always call her back because 1) it would make her feel like it was ok to call me constantly.
2) I was busy, but she'd try calling every hour sometimes.
After this, I screened my calls more. I'd call but not during work. Usually, never got the chance to call her on my own (and be romantic) because she'd have called me twice that day. When I DID talk to her twice a day, or responded to an email, she'd get upset that I wasn't initiating the call. It was always a "call back." When a person calls by 8 am, then any response COULD be considered "a call back."
Some guys feel they need a reason to talk to the girl. I know that calling up just to say hi isn't always my way of doing things (I did attempt to initiate calls once in a while though). I usually feel a need to have a date set in mind, or something planned in order to call.
You will have to ask yourself the questions below for a better answer.
1) Do you call him during work hours a lot? He may honestly be busy.
2) Do you call him on his work phone? Some businesses will fire a person if they're spending too much time with their girlfriends and not working. Especially if it "costs them money." Many businesses use key logging software and similar methods to see what their employees are doing online. If they get too many e-mails, or fool around too much, they can get fired.
3) Do you call him three times a day, every day? Just to chit chat?
4) Is he normally really talkative, or is he serious and quiet?
5) Do you call him for favors? Girl I dated called me to do favors for her, and I felt a little used after a few times.
6) Do you call him to fight, or right after fights, or during those long fights? He might not be a big fan of discussing the relationship at work, or continuing some argument.
7) Do you give him a chance to respond? Sometimes my ex would call me 4 times a day, things that were not emergencies. I wouldn't get a chance to call her sometimes before she'd call again.
If you're not doing any of this, then I would say to ask him (not start an argument, but ask him) about it. If he doesn't have a good answer, you should figure out whether or not the relationship is worth the hassle.
If you find yourself doing these things a little more than you probably should, then it's time to scale back a little, and give him a chance to do some of the work. He might be more inclined to call after work if he gets time.
My boyfriend does the exact same thing. He tells me to call him and he's at work or he's busy and he says hell call later and he forgets or he calls really late or sometimes we talk for a couple minutes. but just because he doesn't call doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. my boyfriend doesn't like talking on the phone.. so maybe yours doesn't either.. so I think you should just talk to him and see whats up.
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