My girlfriend of about 13months recently broke up with me about a week before Christmas. We went out about 4-5 months then she moved in with me. Never cheated,never hung out with opposite sex.We were even each others first for nearly everything. Towards our first few weeks dating she would be a big flirt with a lot of guys and I told her to stop.Eventually she texted/called guys and naturally I got pissed. It stopped after she started living with me though. We spent nearly 24/7 with each other(including school) and we would hardly ever be away from each other for more then 2-3 hours. Well we would argue like most couples,she would bring up silly things(like me being away because I'm at work) and I would just bring up her past about flirting and calling guys.Mainly she brought up arguments because we were so used to being with each other 24/7 that my job took me away from that and we both suffered.
Ok so our fights were on and off for about 3 months then she finally broke up with me about a week before Christmas. She tells me she loves me,she just can't be with me.I caused our last argument because she went away for about 5 days without telling me where she was or who she was with and when I asked she just said "without trust in this relationship then there is no relationship", etc, etc. So on our breakup day she said "I think we should just back off each other for a couple days to clear our heads, some free space. "A day later I call her and she says "we are better off without each other" and the only days she comes to see me are the day she comes to pick up her things. I assume it was another guy and she just says that after being with me she just wants to give up relationships for the rest of her life.
She is just telling me that we never seem to stop our little fights.I told her I can change and we can try to work this out, but she just insists that I'll be the way I am forever and she really doubts in me. We've seen each other recently for small time intervals and I try hard to get her to see me as a changed boyfriend.I do things I would never done before,I treat her like a princess and for Christmas I spent nearly 30 hundred on her(I'm not saying $ can buy her back I just wanted to do something nice). Even though she said we are just friends,she kisses me and even cuddles with me.She made it clear we won't become anything more than friends,but I want to know where I can go from here to get her back.She tells me she loves me she just can't be with me.I can look at her and see she's telling the truth but her words and actions don't appear to be matching with the whole "let's be friends" thing.I can't be friends with her after everything that's happened between us and she won't give me another chance.
I need to know what to do in a situation like this,I believe she is my soul mate for me, even at a young age.Deep down she feels the same way and I know for sure.I can't live not knowing whether I will ever get a chance.Any suggestions?
It's not worth it. Clearly she isn't ready for anything serious, and the relationship wasn't that mature based on what you guys were fighting over. Trying to have such serious relationship(i.e. moving in together) at such a young age is going to make you feel like she is your soul mate. And if she is then eventually, after you guys have room to grow and become mature, you will get back together. But she is treating you like a door mat right now. If she loved/respected you, she wouldn't do those thing, but then again that comes with maturity. You're young be selfish, do things that you want to do. Define your life based on you, not her. It hurts a lot at first, but it all falls into place, trust me. You can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do. And just because you temporarily starting doing things you normally wouldn't do doesn't mean a damn thing. Why would you stop being who you are? Now if you stopped doing drugs or something that is an entirely different story.
No one but you really knows what is going on, but from what you are telling us it sounds like she wants to move on and is just trying to lessen the blow. She's wants to have her cake and eat it too, and if you are ok with her treating you with no respect then continue right on with it. But like other have said, the best thing you can do for YOURSELF is to cut off communication. It's the only way. You''ll get over it, trust me.
Take it slow, it'll work out if its meant to be, me and my girl split once and I was all over it to rush back in, we had been together for 2 and a half years, turns out we didn't work everything out and about 7 months later same thing for good now, we was the same nearly first with everything, and I nurtured that girl like your saying, I never cheated, never yelled, and would go broke to get her something if she needed it, and she just said she was confused about everything right now, so just take the time, its worth the rest of your life together for a 6 month or year waiting time right... just don't get aggravated and take her for granted and think you'll just fall in love with anyone else, I thought I could get over my ex after she dumped me on CHRISTMAS day, after we spent the entire holiday together, took pictures, and she said I was the best thing she's ever had and ever will, we had plans of going the rest of our lives together but it didn't work because we got in a hurry and didn't take it slow.
That sure sounds like another guy to me. 5 days with no explanation is enough to end most relationships! I've got to tell you to stop cuddling and comforting her right now! You've got to cut her off cold turkey! I know it's hard, but not as hard as being led on and drug through the mud. It doesn't sound like she has much respect for you, so don't give any to her. Say no to being friends and find a rebound. Sorry it's not what you want to hear, but... And you don't need to change, you need to grow up. That comes with age and experience.
It's just so hard because my whole life was based around her and since she's gone I feel helpless.I'm glad I didn't do what my friends said."Bro get a tattoo,she'll take you back for sure".I'll take your advice and see how it works out.Tyvm - 6 months ago
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
For a date I would go out to dinner then probably lay underneath the stars and I would wear nice blue jeans with a nice blouse. The date would end by him taking me home and kissing me softly before I go in my house.
(Age:Under 18)
When: 6 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 5 months ago
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