I have a very odd tendency to sort of revert away from my normal personality around women that I am interested in.
basically I am a very strong open and strait forward type of person, but over the years I've learned allot about myself and I know I almost always make a poor first impression, so because of that I tend to hold myself in check when I meet people the first time, especially women.
So where I normally feel very confident and say things on the fly rather then thinking them completely through on a normal basis when I am with a woman I'm interested in I become shy and very introverted, I become a listener and a watcher more then someone involved.
Most women I have been with ask me later about why I became this way, and basically I tell them I didn't want to say something that would push them away. I sit back and watch and learn about everything around me, I hardly talk where in a normal situation I'm a huge part of any conversation.
So my question is should I just let go? Instead of letting myself creep back into and be afraid of saying something that might upset someone should I just let go and open up and have fun with it? Will the confidence that I portray by doing this overtake any stupid things I say or mistakes I might make?
I think it's normal to be cautious. I really can't stand it when a guy just blurts out stupid shit. That's obnoxious. PLUS a girl likes a guy who can LISTEN. however-you do need to show that you have an opinion. The Bible says that a wise man is a man of few words. The guy I'm falling for was very shy at first- that's what intrigued me about him- it made me want to get to know him on a more personal level, it showed me he wasn't the cocky type who thinks he can get any girl he sees. Just ask questions about her life and she'll do the same in return and the conversation will flow.
I think it is definitely important to be aware of yourself and your behaviors in a way that will both represent who you really are and emit a sense of tact. I think you ought to search for a happy medium between your usual personality and the more low-key personality... add those two together and make it into your new personality.
It's sort of like using your "library voice." Know when to go all out and know when to be discreet or more reserved. People will probably respond well to that.
You shouldn't hide but you shouldn't go all out. Just test the waters, get to know some stuff then you'll know at least some stuff you can and cannot talk about.
Well coming from a woman.. I don't think you should let go!! keep doing whatever it is you think is right... I personally like it when a guy is being straightforward with me instead of being a huge loser and keeping things to himself! But there are girls who are different, some like it when a guy just keeps opinions to himself and some like it when they are honest. But if this person is soft and sensitive and makes her feel bad, then don't say anything that might hurt her! Ask her if she wants you to be honest with her!! If she responds yes,, then tell her what you feel! =]
Without getting too deep. I used to be this way. Even when a woman was throwing herself at me I was too shy to even ask for a date. Once even after spending hours in the university library studying together, and I knew she was dying for a date. This has happened many times to me in the past and I may still have some of it, but with age I have come to learn women are great, but they are people too.
As it has been said, they may be feeling the same as you are. And...honestly, what is wrong if she says no or doesn't like you. Look around you, beautiful girls are everywhere.
I would say let go quit being shy and open up man!! Honestly I used to be the observer type to until I realized that all I was good at was analyzing my friends relationships and not even trying one of my own!! You have to be talkative and open with a girl so that they know you like them anyways cause if you don't give them the attention that they want then they will drop you for another in a heartbeat!! SO LET GO and have some fun while doing it!!
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