A close friend of mine has a boyfriend who's kind of hard to read, he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He's a man's man though, and likes to ride four wheelers and stuff. It comes as no surprise that he gets a little annoyed when she makes him go to ballets, shopping, and makes him do tons of activities with her family. Yet they've been together for three years, plan to get engaged in two years, and show no signs of changing.
Personally, I love having a guy around all the time, but I feel like I need to make an effort not to annoy him with ballet and stuff. I wouldn't make my boyfriend watch the Hills or go shoe-shopping with me. Or if I make him do these things, I make an effort to do something he likes with him- like watch a ball game - or let him have more free time to hang out with his friends. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm afraid of becoming an uncool girlfriend who consumes all his time or nags him constantly.
My question: Is this effort to be more considerate about the way time is spent together appreciated? Do guys care that their girlfriends make them do activities they find boring? Or do they like girls that can be cooler about spending time together?
I want a girl that has her own interests and one that would want me to be a part of those and go with her to some of these things she wants to. Even if I do protest going to some I will still go because I would want her to be willing to go and do things that I want to do. Even if there are things that I do that she may protest doing but still go.
This is a great question because it hints at the real inner-workings of relationships.
Your style is cool, and many guys would appreciate it. However, you run the risk of making it seem like you're not passionate about anything. Taking a guy to do something "unmanly" is a good idea, even if he protests. It shows that you care enough to let him into your world. Basically, don't become the girlfriend who never asks anything of her boyfriend--this can be just as boring as being forced into everything.
I think that your idea of compromise is the best solution. Each person should be able to convince the other to do something that he or she enjoys. Gradually, you'll grow to appreciate each other's differences instead of avoiding them.
Very Beautiful by the way had to check out the profile before responding!!!! YEAH may I say this too GEAUX LSU!!! I am originally from new orleans!!!
okay now that we have that cleared up, I for one believe in a relationship is a give and take!!! I don't mind being dragged around for the artsy stuff and also shoe shopping!!! I also tend to look for the fun in each situation or adventure we go in! Shoe shopping for example can be fun like I love making other people laugh so lol wheres that size 17 in heels at! or Ballet for example love to people watch in theatres!
But I do want someone to do things with me that I love doing going to sporting events or automotive events like car shows or drag events!!! or even getting that girly girl in the mud for some quadding or something!
I actually enjoy doing things that she likes to do!! I may sound like a b**** or something but that's just me and my personality!
Funny that you say that! My family is actually from Louisiana and when I'm not a GA fan I root for LSU. I enjoyed the ass-whooping the Tigers gave to Ohio State a couple weeks ago. But we'll see what happens - we play ya'll this season... :D - 6 months ago
I think that the length of time dating has to play a role in this situation, somewhat. I'm not really into going to the ballet in the first couple of months of dating. But like it all depends on the activity. Like I'm not into country music (at all!!!), but I went to a country music concert w/ my ex g/f and had a great time. And we started to agree more on the little things like w/ the radio in the car ... (she eventually moved, so we drifted apart=break-up). So if you and your boyfriend have a mutual understanding of what you both like to do, then you shouldn't worry if you would like to do something that is more along your interests every now and then. I'd understand, if I was him, and especially if you returned the favor by watching a ballgame or something.
Lol, but here's a funny, true scenario of what you don't want to do: My friends' Jay and Courtney were over to watch the Red Sox Play the Cardinals back on 04 in the playoffs. When the star player for the CARDINALS hit a home-run; Courtney, without missing a beat, yelled GO RED SOX!!! Everyone one at my house was astonished, dumbfounded and intrigued as to how Courtney couldn't make out the difference between a sock and a cardinal on the front of a player's jersey (while she was wearing a RED SOX hat). It was really bothersome, but histerical at the same time. And I live in New England so a lot of us are red sox fans. I understand that she's a girl and wants to fit in, but ... anyways. So when watching a game; just know which team is which, and who your boyfriend roots for, and your good to go! You sound pretty cool already!
Just watch for when things get like: your becoming one of the guys. That sounds like what you don't want. Or the opposite, whatever. so I think Moderation is best when used here. And should be appreciated and taken notice of, when trying to make an effort, like this with your partner.
And like with your friends; there are thing you and your friends like to do together. Then there might be the things that you want your friends to do that are of your interest and vice versa.
I'd personally prefer to not be dragged all over to places I don't want to go. And I like how you balance something you may not like to do with something he may not like to do.
I'd get annoyed if I was being dragged all over without anything to show she understands I don't enjoy some of the places. Though I have to say sometimes if you're doing things with a person you care about or love that it may not matter how boring the activity is as long as I'm with that person.
A relationship is about making things work between the two people. If one person is being annoying, bossy, strict, abusive, etc. the relationship isn't going to work. I'd have to say that your friend is probably making up the annoying activities with something else for the guy to balance things out.
And on a final note for whether it's appreciated. I think anything is appreciated that makes the time you spend together enjoyable for Both of you and not just one of you.
Love is blind, and if there is love then time spent together is time well spent. Though it is appreciated with a guy if you are active in stuff that he likes too. I like taking my girl shopping personally, some guys may not. However I would like her to tag along when I go to say a rock concert or something that I like to to.
Hey girl, Thats a really good question! I know I'm a chick, but I thought that I would offer my own advice and you can decide to take it or leave it =)
My first reaction would be to say that guys totally dig chicks that are cooler and that don't make them do things that they don't want to do. This is due to a number of reasons. One of the things that a girl has the remember when it comes to relationships is that she shouldn't try and change her man. She really had to do her best and accept him as he is. N if she cant, well then she shouldn't be with him in the first place.
For some reason when we have friends of the opposite sex we are much more tolerant of their behavior than when it comes to a boyfriend. We do much better if we attempt to hold back our need to control him, to tell him what to do, what to wear and to nag him. The one reason why this doesn't work is because if you do get your way with him, then you start to lose respect for him because you wonder why he won't stand up for himself. On his end the intimacy is wrecked because you remind him more of his mother than of his girlfriend.
So while your friend maybe apparently happy in her relationship that's not to say that nagging is the best way to go. You have a pretty good idea of what will work well in a relationship and I'm sure lots of guys will appreciate how considerate you are of their feelings.
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