We have heard it so many times. A chick raving on about how "into her" this guy is and then the next week her crying because it seems that he has totally lost interest all together.
So I'm wondering .. What are some of the reasons why you guys pull back? And pull back so freaking fast? Is it something that we did wrong?!
Acuzio makes an interesting point - idolizing your partner. But, that happens when you're older too - (I'm in my 40's). I caught up with a alpha-female - the kind that pays even though you invited them (also in her 40's I suspect), from a previous company recently. I could tell we were both very attracted to each other (lots of long eye contact and laughter), but there were moments where she looked uncomfortable , and I said things that may have been taken the wrong way - both negatives for both of us I guess. In this case, she doesn't seem at this stage to want to go further, and to be honest I'm also unsure, but nevertheless thanked her later for catching up and hoping I could reciprocate at some stage . By sheer coincidence we are both working for the same employer.
Well, a lot of things not mentioned likely apply. Guys don't often pull back for no reason. Unless we are talking about after the first time you had sex, then this make sense.
If this does not apply, then maybe we got afraid of commitment, or being pushed into something.
Well we were dating for a bit we kissed ... then he just stopped calling as much ... I didn't pressure him into anything .. he just pulled back and so I let him ... lol ...
but I think afterwards I find out he is scared of commitment .. so I moved on - 6 months ago
For idealistic young people, a lot of the initial factors that make us "spark" at the beginning of a relationship are imagined. In other words, many of those supposedly great qualities about the other person tend to be make-believe, and we gloss over his or her flaws. Then, when the novelty fades, we discover that the person we're actually dating doesn't match up with our ideas.
It's just a matter of experience. The older you get, the more rationally and carefully you'll examine relationships from the start.
It is nothing you did wrong, in fact... continue doing your thing "right", please.
Understand that men are not as complicated as you thing. We rely so much on logic, equations, and angles that we do not see flat on what is important sometimes... the Heart of the matter.
Sometimes men just can't "feel" how much it means to you or how much you need it said.
You didn't do anything wrong. My suggestions? Don't pull back, just be YOURSELF. Eventually, this guy will either be your One, or you will move on. Trust God, trust yourself and trust your guy, if you love him. But do yourself a BIG favor...
Yes I think that we all tend to over analyze a little too much at times. But I like your point about selection. I think its very important to choose wisely! Thanks for the comment =) - 6 months ago
I think girls tend to over-analyze and build things up to fast. Also, when little things happen, we make them seem like something they're not, just because we want them to be. Maybe the boy you've had a crush on for months bumps into you in the hallway. The guy thinks it was purely accident, and the girl (since she likes him) tells all her friends 'OMG! So-and-so totally touched me today!' Then the friends start to agree with you he likes you and so forth, because that's what you want to hear. All of this exaggerates the situation. Of course, this is a very elementary example, in more ways than one.
In other words, often the case is that he may have never been all that "into you" in the first place.
LoL I see what you mean. But I was more referring to something like this guy calls you like everyday and then the next week ... nothing .. but confusing right? haha - 6 months ago
Maybe he thought you could have been moving to fast, maybe that pulled him back.. he might not be ready for that yet, but take it slow.. Like this me and this guy I liked talked everyday, now we hardly talk at all, You try talking to him instead of waiting - 6 months ago
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