Okay, so my best friend is in a new relationship (two weeks) with a guy seven years her senior. He is 27, she is 20. She has very firmly said that she is not willing to have sex before marriage (and she extends that to oral, etc. "the clothes stay on" is her rule) and her boyfriend has said that he's perfectly okay with that. Her boyfriend is an angel, a perfect gentleman, and just an absolutely sweet and wonderful guy. They have done nothing more than kiss. He has stayed over at our apartment several nights and they have slept in the same bed, but they haven't "done" anything.
Well, my friend's parents have decided that she's a whore for letting him stay over here and for sleeping in bed with him. They don't believe that she isn't doing anything and they don't seem to trust her that she has put her foot down on the sex issue. The really irritating thing is that last year when she dated a guy who was only one year older, the situation between them was much the same, but her parents didn't care at all. So we're pretty sure that it's just because her new boyfriend is so much older. But in his case, that doesn't mean he's a sexual predator, it just makes him more mature.
Our question is: how do we convince her parents that she's not a whore? My best friend is the least whorish person I've ever met in my life, and I can't believe I'm even writing this because I've never thought anyone could possibly consider her a whore. For the record, I've been surprised at how fast their relationship is moving emotionally, but at the same time, they fit so perfectly together that I'm half surprised they aren't engaged already. (I knew them both before either met the other, and suspected for a long time that they would be a good fit).
So, bottom line: how do we knock some sense into my best friend's parents? How do we show them that her boyfriend is not pushing her to have sex with him and that she doesn't want to either? And how do we convince them that her boyfriend is not a predator and she is not a whore?
I have a married friend who went through something similar. Her husband's parents didn't approve of her and didn't really try to hide the fact. Even at the wedding they were being snarky and cruel with their comments. Eventually they got over it, and I here they are finally warming up to the reality that their son is married to her.
Maybe they just need their time and space to cool off. She is old enough to make her own decisions, and it sounds like she is making the right ones for herself based on her beliefs. Parents do well to get a slap in the face (not literally), and realize that their child is going to make their own decisions in life and isn't going to seek their approval any more.
K well I just got out of a relationship with a 27 year old myself. Same thing one of the sweetest guys I know. Problem for my parents was that I am 18. Ya 9 year difference. Invite him over for supper with her family and let them see how nice he is and they will love him just as much as she does. Well at least that's what happened in my case but I didn't even introduce him to my parents for 8 months and they met on christmas day with my whole family so they really have no choice to like him or not but they asked me bout him after everyone left so you just gotta find a way to show her parents that he likes her for her personality not her ass they should be fine with it.
Yeah, I talked to her again last night about this and she's decided to take him home to meet them over spring break. He was a bit horrified at first, haha, because he knows they don't like him, but he agreed. Here's hoping it goes well! - 7 months ago
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