I'm curious. I've known my friend for over 13 years. We randomly hooked up 6 years ago after being close friends for some time. It was definitely unexpected for him to come on to me at the time. This continued every few months, in this past year, closer to once a month. He isn't the type to make plans in advance, I usually hear from him last minute. When we are together we talk, laugh, even hold hands, he looks through me like he doesn't want to let me go. It feels like we were meant to be there. I've asked him before why he's never asked me to dinner ever or out, he answered me "You don't want me, I'm a mess", I answered him, well I obviously do, because I keep going to you. He smiled at me and that was it. Nothing more became of it. I'm nervous to bring this up again, he is not one for expressing ones feelings. I feel I should come out and just be blunt, considering this has been going on for so long that he has to be curious of the same things I am, and if he's not I should end it, for good. I don't know how to say to not chase him away either because we have remained so close. What do I do?
He might not be scared. Rather he's getting exactly what he wants already, no strings attached. He's happy as is.
If he wants more, he'd be telling you. Do you really think guys don't LOVE no strings attached sex year in and year out? Do you actually think "he has to be curious of the same things" you are? Where did you get your education about the nature of guys? Trust me, he almost certainly satisfied his curiosity about you years ago.
You are the perfect booty call. You put out after just a little talking, hand holding, and some looking "through you. " All year long every year whenever convenient for him, apparently. Is that all you want to be?
If so, continue on, no changes necessary.
If not, you'd better lay it on the line: Real relationship or no more booty. Then you'll find out. If he stays, its under the terms you want (a committed relationship). If he goes, you got rid of a guy who NEVER thought of you as more than a booty call, which should be good for you in the long run (but probably difficult if you're using sex with him to try to feel happy about yourself. Not a good idea btw but I bet that's you, and about 2 million other people out there. )
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