Why does she continue to see him after they've split up or divorced?

You know that's the same questions I ask my mother. But she's told me why she says it's hard for a women to leave a man when she has loved him, cooked for him and all this. It's because they have low self esteem and blah blah blah. Basically they don't think they can get any better. They feel like they need him.

The girl takes pride in the fact that she is/was able to handle such a bad situation. It makes her feel a bit superior to girls in non-abusive relationships.

Also, abusive guys are sweet at times. When the guy is abusive, the girl remembers his kindness and begins to crave it. It's like that piece of chocolate you know is there, but you just can't have it at the moment. You know he'll be sweet again, and you'll wait for those days through the abusive ones.

I don't know why. My mom is going through this. She dated/lived with a guy for almost four years and the entire time he beat her and put her down. Yet she continues to see him. I think women who are with one abusive man continue to find more of them because of the familiarity of it all. My father abused my mom. She got out of their relationship when I was three, but got back with him when I was seven years old. Again, he abused her and she dealt with it for four more years, then he left. As soon as he was gone she dated another abusive man. Now she just kinda dates around trying to find someone that will make her happy. I guess you'd have to ask a woman who had been abused herself to find out exactly why it is they stay.

There is the factor of fear. Also, the man has more than likely stripped them of their self esteem. Made them feel as though they are not worth anything, that no one else will have them, made them feel ugly, made them feel they can't make it without them. Most of these women don't like that they do this. They really want to be free of the hold this man has on them, but don't know how to get away.

My mom was in an abusive relationship, it's because they need them to tell them if they are doing something wrong or they will go crazy cause they think they can't do anything right without the guy there to correct them.

I don't think that there is any one answer that fits all situations, as each woman probably stays for their own unique reasons (can't control who they love, he has money, etc).

Typically though, women in a situation like that, have been in them before with other guys, or they will get in them with another guy in the future.

For some reason, while they say otherwise, they search for these kind of guys. There is something about them that the women are attracted to, what that is I don't know, and I don't think the could tell you (not without the help of serious professional counseling). But a lot of women in this situation will say,... "Guys like this just keep finding me, or I really know how to pick them."

Whoever your friend is should talk to a professional, because even if she leaves this guy, more than likely she will find another just like him.

Good luck.

I'm a guy, but I think it's because of the challenge. The fact that she does somewhat like/love her and thinks that she can CHANGE him.