I am temporarily living with my boyfriend until I get my own place. The problem is, I want us to permanently live together but he doesn't. He says I'm being selfish by feeling this way but I can't help how I feel. I understand that he wants to wait but it's hard to go from living together to living apart. If I get my own place in a few months, then it'll be until at least an extra year after that until we could actually live together and I feel like that's too long. We've already been dating for almost two years. Thanks so much for any advice.
I can see why you are frustrated about this after you have already moved in with him. However, it's obvious he still wants his privacy, and is not ready to make your "live-in" status permanent yet. I would stop bugging him about it, and work on maintaining your relationship. Forcing him into a premature decision could cause him to resent you, and damage your long-term relationship.
UltraDramatic
(Age:30 to 35)
When: More than a year ago
I didn't want to live with my fiancee before we got married. There were a couple of reasons for this.
1. I liked having some privacy. There wasn't anything that I was keeping from her, but I enjoyed having "my place" to come home to. Let's face it, I'm a guy, and it's important for me to have a space I can call my own.
2. I didn't believe it was the right thing to do. I'm of the old-fashioned school of thinking, where you don't live together before you get married. I've heard stories and read statistics of people who lived together before they wed, and their sex lives were usually less satisfying than those who waited until they got married to have sex.
3. I wasn't ready. In some ways, I was still getting some of my affairs in order, and I wasn't at the point where I was comfortable being married or living with another person.
Living together when you when you have dated for only two years isn't the best idea. I don't think you should continue with it. It's be best chance of break up and cause a lot of fuss over stupid things. Plus it puts in the red flag zone.
If you keep nagging him to live together and he finally says yes because it's what you wanted he might start feeling a grude against you because it not what he really wanted and this could cause problems. If think if you live with a person before you marry them, then it won't be as special when you actually get married, it won't be new, just the same old thing you've been doing.
crazngirl
(Age:Under 18)
When: More than a year ago
Maybe he wants to live apart because he wants to be the one knocking on your door, picking you up, and wants to be the one to come see you- or spend nights with eachother or maybe he needs his own privacy- but I don't understand why he doesn't wanna live with his girlfriend though.
I was thinking once my boyfriend and I get engaged which is going to be within 2 or 3 years that we should get a place and live together until our...
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