My wife and I have been together for about 3 years now and married for little less than a year. Our sex life has never been that great, but now that we are married its down to about once every two weeks. A lot of it is my fault as the idea of having sex with her is not as appealing as it once was. She has gained about 20lbs since we have been together and is only 5'1, so its a lot more noticeable on her than it would be on anyone else. The other fact is that I believe internet porn has ruined me a little (a thing I am cutting back on big time) My wife and I have a very good relationship and I love her to death and can never see us being apart, but the thought of sex has stopped even entering my mind and its like we are just best of friends that hang out, go to bed together, kiss, and have a lot of fun together. The worst thing is that I know that I will cheat on her eventually. Its just a mentality that I have that if the opportunity presented itself I would probably not be able to say no. I was single for a lot of my adult years before meeting my wife and had a lot of hook-ups and one night stands and I think that enters into my head about how much fun I had, but doing that would crush her and that is why I have stayed away from doing it for the whole time we have been together.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, but we did have sex last night for about a half hour but neither of us finished and it just left a bad thought in both of our heads.
I think you should do whatever you can to try and revive that sexual relationship with your wife. Don't let her know that her weight is bothering you. If she feels like you are attracted to her she will be more likely to want to lose it. Women know when they need to lose weight already. Cut out the porn and try to be more creative in bed. Try some new things. Maybe buy her some new sexy lingerie or convince her to buy some. It is far too easy to get "comfortable" in a married relationship and not think of the person as sexy because you see them every day. Believe me, I understand where you are coming from. I have a pretty wild past too and when I think about the things I used to do and all the people I have been with it sounds like fun. But there is a reason that I settled down and got married and left that lifestyle. I have been and am tempted to cheat on my husband, but I know my regrets would be far too great. We have children too and there is no way I am going to ruin their lives. Cheating on your spouse will eventually destroy your life, even if you think it is going to be a one night stand that they will never find out about and it will take away from your relationship with your wife whether you want it to or not.
Thanks for the reply. lingerie has never turned me on, so that is out...and if the 20lbs is bothering me then seeing her in something like that won't be good either. I agree with everything you said though, and hope we can pull it all together. - 8 months ago
Answerer
Try to remember what attracted you to your wife in the first place. When you were dating how you felt about her, how sexy she was then, etc. And focus on that. Use candlelight, it makes everything look sexier too. - 8 months ago
Answerer
Oh and if you act like you think she is sexy she will feel sexier and act sexier and in turn make you feel sexier towards her. So fake it for a bit and hopefully it will turn into the real thing! - 8 months ago
What Guys Said
There are no answers from guys yet. Answers are getting posted all the time so check back soon...or submit your own answer above!
Okay so I am a devoted Catholic, and I've always known I'd be waiting until marriage to do anything sexual. Well, now I'm starting to get paranoid!...
View Answers
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 8 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
