How to turn a negative time in a relationship around?

I understand what your saying. Partly because I'm dealing with a same situation. And partly because I've been wondering the same thing in my relationship. It's very difficult to turn things around. But once they are turned around it feels like every argument fight and tussle you guys got into was worth it.

So you ask how you can turn these things around?
It will take time. Try to move away from all the arguments.
Take the time to see how much she means in your life.
And once you do that, let her know that.
Tell her that there is no need for all this fighting.
Also tell her that no matter what happens you will always be by her side.

Each one teach one brother. There is no greater inspiration than the inspiration that comes from the man you love. We as women have a tendancy to fall into the negative if we don't have a man that will incourage (take the courage you have and put it in to her), us to think higher, think better. But some women especially those who aren't confident in who they are could be a different banana! You can't help us all. You're only duty to a woman is to love, respect, honor, and inspire her. If she is not conscious she will not be receptive. Pray for her and let her go. You will only be pushing her into her destiny, and saving yourself a lot of grief. Peace and love

think back to what brought ya'll together in the first place..do what made her fall for you in the first place..get away for a while from life..just be together and love on each other and hold one another and never let go..i was in that kindof relationship with my ex if we would of just got away from life every once in a while we would of lasted..we started fighting and arguing and just fought about little things just get her away and treat her 2 the best time of her life and show her how much you really care for her

Take a break or consider counseling. Sometimes getting your feelings out with an unbiased person can help to clear the air. Usually when people start nit picking at each other there is another issue going on that is eating at them and causing the tension to be so high.

My boyfriend [of 4 years] and I are going through the EXACT SAME THING!

Here is what we did to work things out:
We set a date for us to have some alone time, just he and I. We went to a movie and went out to dinner. Afterward, we went to a quiet place and just talked. We talked about everything! We let everything that was bothering us out into the open. We talked about our future plans. We both gave each other suggestions on what we could do to make our relationship grow stronger. Then we went a several days without communication. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. =) The next time we saw each other we couldn't stop smiling. We had missed each other so much, that we didn't want focus on the bad, we wanted to hug each other and be happy. It worked for us!

Hope this helps. :) Good luck!

1st you wanna sit down and try to talk to her , see what her problem is and ur's and how you guys can fix these issues . If she doesn't show any interest in trying to work on these issues then you gotta give each other tie apart . Let her realize on her own what a great boyfriend she has & if she doesn't change shea gonna lose you. Let her miss you for a bit. Hope this helps :)

I have been in this situation so I hope my answer will help you.

I have been that girl who has said "you never do this for me" or " you only focus on yourself" etc, etc.

Just let her rant on and when she is finished tell her to tell you exactly what it is that she wants and what are things that are annoying her. If she can give the problems on the spot, you know that she is for real in her complaints. If she goes silent then let here know where she stands with you and that you don't want to go on like this anymore. Let her think for a day or two whether or not you guys need a break for a few days and both of you come back with 3 lists each and start in this order.

List 1: what you like about about each other and what attracted you to them in the first place-once this list is wrtten, it will make the other lists so much smaller because it is to bring the good memories back.

List 2: List the comlaints and problems that make you argue with eachother.

List 3: What you want from your partner and where you want the relationship to go.

Then discuss these lists and come up with a resolution. If you can't do so then you definately know that the relationship is going to continue the way it is.

This should help you guys. You need to get all these little issues out of the way. Don't be suprised if her list is longer than yours. It should be expected. Us females pick on every little things. Unfortunely we are not so simple in our thinking like you guys are.

Good luck with everything and I hope everything works out for the 2 of you.

Its ok to argue,it is healthy on a good amount...

never say this words.. "you never" "you always" "its yourfault" "whatever"

always use this words... "we" "our" "i"

on arguments...

Only focus on what you are fighting about at the moment..never bring up old issues in new fight..always fight with respect,fight fairly and fight like you care for this person..do not fight to hurt her feelings and vise versa,fight to solve the problem that's should be the focus..
ex.. you say, you never clean the dishes,you are always late,you never do this and that because the fact is she did but sometimes..thats why when you say this shed be very hurt,so insted of fighting fairly she would bring other issues from before that she knows would hurt..both of you is going far away from solving the problem,insted fighting to hurt each others feelings..

remeber,we could forget that we're happy but never forget the time when we're hurt...so its always good to start with yourself,do this and she'll notice and she would be the same.."never ever walk away from her when you are fighting it will make things wrose,this geasture never solved a problem..

when someone is talking,do not over talk and yell, insted listen..start with yourself again,when she's talking you listen,she should listen when you do.make the effort to never yell,if you don't yell she has no reason to yell back right? because when you end up yelling at each other you will never hear what you say and hows that gonna solve something..so star with you..

this things do not happen right away it takes time and effort and patience..in the end,you just want peaceful,respectful and happy relation..do not let fighting tear you apart,thats is just too low for a reason to ruin a relationship..i know everyne fights and I did that to myself,and yes it did work...i start doing fair fighting,and he went same way..listen to this..."dont do to others the things that you don't want others to do to you"...that should be fair enough..

Try giving her some space for a while, some girls just need time to clear their head and keep their mind occupied on something else, the arguments just sorta nod and agree, don't let her have the chance to argue that's what I used to do when my ex and I argued and it worked in the long run.

Then after giving her some space take her to the movies or dinner or something and see how things go from there.

hope this has helped.

Talk to her and compromise both of you need to listen to what each other has to say. What is she complaining about?

You both have to give in something. So, compromise, tolerate. What is it about though the complaints? Is it true of what she said? She's upset that's y she is focusing on the bad one because it hurts her feelings deeply. I am sure when you validate her feelings and say sorry for that behaviour she's referring to, she'll be more loving to you. Then, she will want to listen to your opinion and give in too. You can also tell her that you want to hear appreciation from her as it makes you feel loved by her, I am sure she will want to do that.

This may not be what you want to her but try takiing a break. Maybe a full week or two whatever you feel comfortable with. My boyfriend and I had this phase where all we would do was argue over the tiniest and dumbest things. The arguments were becoming a daily thing and so we took a break from each other for a week. No talking at all. No texting, phone, anything. The time apart made us realize how much we meant to each other and I sure as hell began appreciating the things he did for me a lot more. Now...if you haven't talked to her about it then that would be the first thing to do.
Good luck!

I really can't tell you because me and my guy is in the exact same situation...

"how do we change all the negativity.. in each other and in ourselves?"

Wow, that indeed is a very important question in life. Because, whenever you are in a negative emotional state, you attract MORE negative things/people.

The saying >> "the good gets better, and the bad gets worse", is very true. Imagine an angry person, s/he is like a volcano inside, wherever s/he goes, s/he can ONLY stimulate, or activate, other people's negativities. And if you are a good observer you will observe that other angry people are SOMEHOW, attracted to him/her, without his/her awaring it. The end result? You see many volcanos getting together and erupt, together. This is the real reason behind mass riots. The intellectual squabbling, idealogical protests, fighting for XYZ causes, are only stuffs on the surface layer.

To neutralize thoughts that lead to negative emotions, you need to use your will power. You replace those thoughts with a positive thought. For severely depressed people, this is the toughest thing to do in the world (not joking here). Because it is as if they have lost the ability to think of positive thoughts. This is also why you need to extract yourself from a negative emotions provoking thought the minute you feel negative emotions.

Actually, when you spotted that, you are on a negative downward spiral already. It works like a snowball, if you don't get out in the early stage, you will find that, before long, another negative thought come into your mind. If you don't halt it at its earliest stage, you get an avalanche.

Ways to get out of this snowball cycle include immediately changing the topic of conversation, go out and do something which makes you happy. Use your will power to refuse to thinking about those negative thoughts. Tell yourself, "Been there. Done that. Bored as hell to repeat that cycle again and again, thus, just count me out!"