My ex & I just broke up after being together for 2 years just recently. I'm 25 & he's 29. We both talked about marriage and stuff, & both agreed that nothing will happen until 5 years from now, since we just graduated from university this summer. I wanted to travel & perhaps go back to school. He wanted to go back to school or take up courses as well. I knew he was looking initially for a house for himself & always asked for my opinion. Back in November he said he wasn't sure that I was in his future. But he also told me at his age, it would be very difficult to start over & look for a new relationship, as he was passed the dating stage. We broke up after a fight this past Jan., & told me I ruined his plans of proposing this year. I'm confused whether he was serious in marrying me or was it something he said just to try & hurt me, because of the fight. Just wanted to know if there were any signs or indications a guy is ready to settle down with you.
Update: Cont. To languagetimothy--> after I made my comments to him, he told me I was too young to even be thinking of commitment at this age. I have no idea what he meant by that.
6 months ago
There's no hard and fast rule. Men are full of stupid ideas, imbalanced hormones and often the wild urge to go out and have sex with as many partners as possible.
To me, the most reliable measure of a guy's readiness to settle down is his age.
You are now both at a perfectly reasonable age to make a firm commitment to each other for good. You must be sure that he would be doing it for the right reasons. There will always be the rising panic in both of you that this is the last chance you get to make a different choice, but life is often about compromise. You need to look at each other and ask yourselves whether you can live with this choice for the rest of your life despite its imperfections.
He has probably been wrestling with this choice right now. It's a big choice and don't be too down on him for giving it a lot of thought and maybe even wavering a little. His choice of words was not great though. It does sound like he thought he was just settling for what might have been second best. I'd give him a bit of a dig in the ribs about that and ask him if he'd like to re-phrase it. We're often not the best word smiths when it comes to relationships.
So - in summary: You're probably the best judge of whether he's ready, so don't be too hard on him for not knowing himself.
I asked him "what was the point in me hanging around in the relationship. I don't want to be the girl that you're just sleeping with. I'm not the type of person to hang around if I know nothing will come out of in the future. - 6 months ago
What Girls Said
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 6 months ago
I think if I had been dating a guy for 2 years and he told me that he didn't know if I was in his future-I'd be telling him to get lost. Have you 2 spoken since Jan.? You don't sound like you are ready to settle down if you're wanting to travel and stuff. If it was meant to be, you'll find each other again.
That's the initial thought I had in my had. I didn't want to waste time with anyone who didn't want to be with me. I haven't spoken to him since Jan., I made a few attempts but he ignored my calls. we both knew that we weren't ready for marriage yet. - 6 months ago
I'm 20 and he's 25. We know each other since last september. And recently about 4 months ago we started having sex. So one day he asked me what would...
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I dated this man whom I was very in love with for almost three years. He had just gotten out of a bad divorce and told me that he probably did not...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
I would take my date to a place we both can enjoy. maybe her favorite restaurant and a movie, check out a show or maybe hang out at the beach. at the end if we both connect and I feel she likes me, I would end it with a kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
That I am a very fun person. will know exactly how I feel about her. and everything else she would want to know, as I would want trust and honesty.
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 6 months ago
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