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I have a few questions that popped into my mind, that I would be thinking about if I were the women you are reffering to.
1)So how active are you in the military? Is it possible that your ex is afraid and scared that there is a possibility that you could die (God forbid! ), but that you could end up dying and leaving her all alone?
2) Is it possible that the reason she is not wanting to commit to you, is because it is a long distance relationship, and because you are in the military? She could be scared that you might be unfaithful to her and cheat since you are so far away from her, and she could also be afraid that if she commits to you, that someone else may come along, closer to her in distance, and she may "miss out" on something else that could be good or worth while.
After saying all of that, long distance relationships hurt, and women love and need and crave attention from their man. She may love"you, but maybe she is afraid to commit because she knows she won't be able to get that attention from you likes she will want, and does not want to hurt you by getting that attention from some other man, which would be unacceptable in a commited relationship.
Anyway, I jus re- read ur question and realized I did not answer what you were looking for. So basically call her as much as you would if you were in a relationship. If she loves you, you won't scare her off unless you call so much that you cross that line into clinginess, or you become overbearing. Throw a couple of your "feelings" out there every now and then, and see how she responds. If she reciprocates with a loving answer, you know you will not scare her. If you tell her something and she is silent or laughs uncomfortably and does not tell you anything in return. Back off from the disclosing your "feelings" for now.
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