There's a girl I fell hard for on the first day of this semester when my eyes first met hers. We both completely stopped in our tracks and looked into each others eyes for a while. On the 2nd day I found her standing behind me and we talked for a bit before class. After two weeks I asked her if she'd want to grab coffee with me - she turned me down.
Something didn't seem right, so I left her alone and avoided her for about 2 months. I would catch her looking at me in class - something inside told me not to pursue her, that I was just seeing what I wanted to see,and she wasn't interested in me.
Then one day she she starts flirting with me very hard. Walking by me and slowing down to a stop and stare me in the eyes. She even went so far as to walk all the way to my desk and stared at me till I looked up and saw her.
So, against my better judgment, I walked up to her and started talking to her again, her face immediately brightened up, as I started walking away, she followed me and kept talking with me. After the next class, I "felt" her behind me, I turned and smiled at her and she immediately starting glowing and even laughed at a dumb joke I made, so I decided to ask her if she would want to do something with me sometime, she said maybe and was all smiles. I asked her to think about it and said I'd see her next class
That class is tomorrow, and up until I found her myspace today while looking for something else, I just don't know what to do
She has pictures of herself kissing this guy, he's her #1 friend and she his, however they both say their relationship status is divorced, and the comments from the pictures are 2-3 months old.
Her last blog, dated a week before she starting hitting on recently, had the following:
"I believe that I have felt more love in two weeks than many people experience in their entire lives. To think it is reciprocated is priceless. These things should not be thrown away easily. I They are worth an unspeakable amount. I don't want to replicate them; I want to keep the things I have.
Life's successes should be measured in how many souls you touch and how deeply you love. It is the single biggest truth about humanity- love heals all. We all need it.
We all deserve to find happiness. When it's staring you in the face and you see it but don't know how to get to it, you still should accept it. Let it in. It will find its way. And if it doesn't then it wasn't your happiness to begin with. You are worth more than this world has to offer so if your dreams are given to you. You must take them.
Choose who you love wisely and when you've made a decision you stick by it until it turns into ash. You decide who you love and it's the difficulties you go through that reconfirm you made a good decision. Humans will always let you down. But we also have the capability to continue to love no matter how hard things get"
What does this all mean? I feel so lost, is that guy her ex-boyfriend? What do I do now? Please Help
Update: Walking together after class, I asked her, wanna get coffee sometime after classes? She asked what my schedule was and said she's working then leaving fort LA on Saturday for a week, and we should plan to get together when she's back.
7 months ago
Update: She seemed really down today, as was I. I was nervous and didn't look at her, we walked together slowly while I stared ahead and spoke slowly and calmly. She did say verbatim, "Lets plan to get together when I'm back from LA". Is she blowing me off?
7 months ago
Update: Yesterday, I found her staring at me with a grin, from behind a window at a restaurant I walked by. Today, the day before returning to class, she deleted all pictures of that guy from her myspace and removed him as a top friend -on his myspace, he did too.
6 months ago
YES, you should pursue her . I mean, you seem like a nice, sensitive guy . But, like a lot of guys, you seem to be overly afraid of rejection by girls . C'mon, we aren't that intimidating -- just go for it ! Worst thing that happens is the girl rejects you . If that happens, you lick your wounds and move on . But if you don't go for it, you'll never know, right ?
Absolutely, better to find out its not going to happen then to sit and wonder about it - it just sucks that we have to go through this stuff - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yes, I agree, it's a burden on guys to have to pursue girls in these situations, and risk rejection and all . But, believe me, we girls have our challenges, too . Just imagine waiting by the phone day after day, hoping a guy you like will call . That REALLY sucks ! LOL . Anyway, go for it, and best of luck to you . - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Yeah but then guys have to wait by there phone and wonder if we should even bother to call, or wonder if the girl will ever call back, since most girls never do.. I don't even ask for numbers anymore. - 6 months ago
Go up and politely ask, "what do you see happening in the future? " And see what she says, if she doesn't get it, ask, "do 'we' have a chance? ". Be direct, good luck, I bet she likes you a lot and wants to date you, just double check
That's what my fear is echoing in my head - I can also just do what I said I would - follow up with her tomorrow - and expect the worst results -_- - 7 months ago
Question Asker
When I did follow up... she said we should plan to get together after spring break... so I'll see what happens next Monday... I'm kinda hoping that if she needs to rebound, she does it while she's out of town... instead of with me... but at the same time, I never want to know - then again this all may be pointless, if she comes back from break and decides she's "not ready to see anyone" - 6 months ago
Um. Sounds to me like it's her ex-husband! Probably were going through a divorce when you first met her which would bring up moral questions about dating before a divorce is final. If I am reading this correctly she is talking about you. She has been hurt by her divorce and is now indecisive about things ("These things should not be thrown away easily. ") but you are the healer ("love heals all. We all need it. "). ("We all deserve to find happiness. When it's staring you in the face and you see it but don't know how to get to it, you still should accept it. ") she has found her happiness in you, or at least she thinks but does not know how to follow up on it. When you first asked her out maybe it was an issue of morals or maybe it was that she was scared and still apparently is. When you stopped talking to her it probably crushed her I am sure. ("Humans will always let you down. But we also have the capability to continue to love no matter how hard things get") This means. Her husband or ex or someone has let her down in relationship somehow whether it was intimacy, commitment, or passion. . I really think you need to get in touch with her and start talking to her more regularly. Then ask her out. If she rejects you maybe you should ask her how she feels about the situation between the two of you. One way or another. YOU NEED TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. I think there is a lot more to her situation than what we could guess. Just be sure to tell her how you feel. Neither of you are children anymore so I am sure you can both handle it in a mature and responsible manner!
In the comments section with the photos of her and him, her friends refer to him as her boyfriend - she is 20, he is 27, I just turned 26 last week - the pictures them are over a spread of a couple months. Before that there is no mention of anyone in her life. - 7 months ago
Answerer
This may be. I doubt she is still with him but possibly. Be careful you need to look out for you and not get hurt. I think COMMUNICATION is the key! If you really like her, GO FOR IT! :) - 7 months ago
Answerer
UPDATE: No way she is not blowing you off! She really wants to be around you it sounds! - 6 months ago
Look man, this girl wants you but I think she is just afraid to get into a new relationship right now ! so you talk to her but don't follow her wherever she goes just act normal she will accept you more like this and take her time with you just take your time with her !
Yeah, I alway make sure she's following me, and if she stops, or starts leaning in another direction, I just say something like, " talk to you on Friday"
although I have noticed this pattern of recently... if I don't walk up to her after class and say something... she walks around like she's looking for me, and when she finds me she gets this silly different kinda smile and starts walking that way, I make a point of meeting her about halfway. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yeah you see, she wants you and needs to see you around and you're acting right don't follow her everywhere but in the same time don't be so hard. Give her this impression that you're into her as well but not in an obvious way, you know what I mean don't act also so hard where she might think that you don't like her or something - 6 months ago
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 6 months ago
You remind me of myself. When in 10th grade this girl and I were in love even though we never technically were a couple, we never dated,etc. But the next year (last year) she seemed to completely loose interest in me. I kept pursuing her but she didn't act the same. Then one day I decided to get her out of my life by not talking to her for 2 months by the end of that time she seemed really hurt and kind of depressed.
Eventually I started to talk to her again. This year she's acting really weird and I don't have a clue whether she likes me or not since one day she will stare at me constantly and make deep eye contact and the the next week she won't even flirt with me so I'm very confused. But watch to see if she makes constant eye contact with other people, not just you.
You wrote: "something inside told me not to pursue her, that I was just seeing what I wanted to see,and she wasn't interested in me. "
My life experience has been that when I listen to myself things work out and when I don't, things go poorly and sometimes very poorly. Don't set aside your intuition. It's entirely possible that your gut has picked up on something your heart and mind don't want to see.
Then again, we are only talking about trying to date her. So you can give it a shot, but don't let yourself get crushed.
About 3 months ago, me and a girl started working at a new company. Initially, we were very friendly and then became flirty with each other. As time...
View Answers
I met a girl the other night and we hit it off right away. I got the number and a kiss on the cheek. She's an outgoing party girl and I'm more of the...
View Answers
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 7 months ago
Poll added by question asker. Cast your vote to see the current results.
