I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and three months now. We are extremely close even though we are not in terms of MILES! :/ We talk every night and little during the day and see each other from as much as twice a month to 1time every month and a half to two months (although it has not ALWAYS been like this). Bruce is my first boyfriend and my first love and we are planning to get married in about two years. With this said, I need to know. When we talk I notice I am extremely selfless! Its not always a good thing and this is a prime example! I don't understand it. He will say something I totally defend. NOT ME but Him! I knock myself down and he gets upset about it because he thinks I have low confidence in myself. He says I need to be proud to be me and have my opinion count. (which it does to him just not to me all the time). He will say something was not the greatest and automatically I say "i am so sorry I know it was me. I should change this or that. I am sorry I feel so bad! It is my fault. ") I understand that this may be a part of my childhood and past experiences but do you think it is anything to do with our relationship? I am more sure of him and I than anything else. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I just wish I could stop knocking me down, but in order to help myself I need some ideas as to what I am to help! Any ideas or comments would be much appreciated! Thanks! =<)
I see the strong words you've written about being sure of him and loving him but have you ever entertained thoughts of whether you could lose him?
Only reason I am asking is because he is your first boyfriend and your first love so I'd be curious to know how strongly you really feel about the strength of his love for you.
Some individuals would rather take on the blame for matters they are not at fault with because they secretly believe that it helps sustain the relationship or friendship. After all, if they take the blame then they quite possibly have just averted an argument.
At any rate, listen to your boyfriend, be proud of who you are and stand up for your beliefs and opinions! You'll learn that most people will respect your opinions, whether they agree or not, and those who won't respect you don't really matter much. :)
I am going to through this out there, it is something that somebody told me once. If you are not enough alone, you will never be enough with him. I don't think this has to due with your relationship, it has everything to do with you. You have to be confident in yourself. You need to figure out who you are and he is right, you need to have an opinion and stand up for what you believe in. It almost sounds like you are afraid of just being yourself.
Confidence comes with experience which comes with age. You will mature into it. It doesn't sound like it has anything to do with your relationship since you said he tells you to be more confident in yourself. Just be sure not to depend on him for your confidence or happiness. That is all in you! Try to spend more time with yourself - go to the movies by yourself or go to a coffee shop and read a book. Also , understand that everything in life is not always sunny. Things will go wrong but that doesn't mean you have to take the blame.
This guy in my class doesn't talk to me, but he kind of follows me around and stares at me a lot (I mean in a lost puppy kind of way, not...
View Answers
Hi, I'm a virgin and whenever I masturbate (which is like once a month at most, I tend to get really horny before I get my period) once I start...
View Answers
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
