Please help. I've been dating this GREAT guy for 7 months we have had an great relationship of understanding , no jealousy and we have never fought. This weekend though, he has been acting really weird. We usually talk about our plans, and we keep it pretty balanced and never leave each other out. On Saturday morning I told him I was going to jump in the shower and then we can plan something to do. When I got out and phoned him he was already on his way to coffee with his friend and his friends gf. SO I said call me when your done I guess. And then he called me saying "Calvin (his friend) and his girlfriend and I are going to the pool you want to come"... I kind of felt left out but I tried to not let it bother me and I went and had some fun. Then I realized my inhaler was getting low, so I told him I was going to go to the drug store and get a new one quickly. It took a little longer then I thought and so I called him when I was driving back to his place and he had already left and was hanging out with another friend. I really felt ditched!?!? I got really mad and emotional.. ( I couldn't control it) and we never fight, and it turned into a huge one. And then I suggest the next day that we talk, I went over to his house and we talked and kissed and made up. Then he turned on his xbox and played live and was chatting with all his friends that came on.. and then he sat there texting with his other friend and made plans to go to the gym that night. He is treating me like crap, he has NEVER! Acted like this before and I don't know what to do!?!?!
You are right to think something has changed. If nothing else, he has changed how he treats you, and that is worth reconsidering the relationship. Give it a couple more weeks and see what else comes to the surface, but if things do not get better, bow out and move on.
Your best hope of salvaging anything will be to tell him that you don't know what is going on, but it is obvious that he is putting you as low priority and you do not understand what has changed. Guys are not very good at expressing themselves through talking as much as through actions, so sometimes we have to try and think of the possible reasons and see if we can change something up to get a different reaction.
You did not mention how much time you spend together. It could be that you have been in the classic stage of spending all your time together and now you are feeling the growing pains of a guy who wants some space. It is my personal opinion that girls can often need a lot less personal space or time with friends and we wrap ourselves up in a relationship and then get irritated when our guy says he wants to go out with friends. We wonder why we are not enough for them. But the reality is that you burn your relationship out by spending all your spare time together. You need to spend time with your friends and have girl's nights and he should do guy things with his friends. Then, when you come back together, you can really enjoy the special qualities that only the two of you can give each other.
He may not even be totally aware of what is causing him to do what he is doing but he may be afraid to tell you directly what he wants, so instead he is just doing it and living with the repercussions. It sounds like he really likes you and he may simply just need time for activities that do not include you.
Talk to him is all you can do. I kind of think you are overreacting though because of a change in things. its not like he went to the pool without asking you becasue if he didn't want you there, he woudnt have asked. besides, you said you had fun. Hon, he doesn't always have to make plans with you. he has other people in his life and he doent always have to include you in things with his friends, he's gonna want his space too. So just be more understanding and less dramatic about a little change. At first, yall had this certain habit and now as the relationship is getting further, things are gonna change. So change your thinking. he doesn't always have to be with you. And he is just playing his game and texted about going to the gym. So? Are you that needy where its got to be all about you? You may need to find some friends or do something that doesn't always include him being solely responsible to entertain you cause some guys start to feel that way and may want to break away.
Maybe he is just having a bad few days and doesn't know how to handle it. Try not to think that you did something wrong or he's pulling away I'm sure he's not meaning to or maybe he doesn't even realize he is try talking to him about it not yelling it works so much better Good luck with everything :) :P :D XD
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When: 2 months ago
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