I stupidly read my boyfriends text messages and have found that he's been texting his ex to say that he still dreams about her and misses having sex with her. I'm going away overnight in a couple of weeks and their messages suggest that they're gonna meet up while I'm away- What should I do?
Yes. Confront him immediately. He'll probably be upset that you read his texts, but that doesn't change what he did. You have to decide whether you want to stay with him and work it out. But the fact remains that he is, for all purposes, a cheater. Not in the physical sense yet, but headed there! Certainly a cheater, emotionally, at this point!
Better question: Why were you reading his text messages? If I EVER found out that my girlfriend was reading my texts without my permission, no matter WHAT her motives were, the relationship would be over. PERIOD. That is a gross and inexcusable invasion of privacy.
But to answer your question: No, you should not confront him unless you have hard evidence that he actually has done something other than text. For one thing, text conversations can be taken out of context easily (especially when read by an already suspicious girlfriend). Also, you do not know what his motives or intentions were when sending those texts. I know it sounds odd, but I still text some of my ex's with flirty/suggestive conversations, but at the same time I have absolutely no intention of actually doing anything with them. It happens. So don't go ruin a potentially healthy relationship unless you're SURE he's done something wrong.
I'm sure you would get mad if you found your girlfriend reading your texts. She would catch you text-cheating on her and would be right to kick your ass to the curb. Don't be lawyering-up about being sure. It's obvious he's wrong. We don't have those little voices for nothing. - 6 months ago
Answerer
"Text-cheating? " Are you serious? That is the silliest thing I've ever heard. We might as well put that in there with "Porn-cheating. " If you put too much merit in that "little voice" without thinking things through you'll end up screwing yourself over. If she actually cares about this relationship then she should care enough to be sure before taking drastic action like that. Real life isn't all like that stupid "Cheaters" reality show. - 6 months ago
If you think it's so innocent, then show the flirty/suggestive texts that you are sending to your exes to your current girlfriend. Then you'll see what text-cheating is. Or is your little voice telling you that it may not be a good idea?
You also say that you send these texts to exes with no intention of following through, but also say that another person can't know intentions. So how can your girlfriend know that you intended not to do anything. How's the weather in your world? - 6 months ago
Answerer
I KNOW what my intentions are when I send my texts to my ex. I also know that if somebody read them without asking me they would most likely get the wrong impression. I don't show them to my current girlfriend for the simple reason that (not to knock on girls here, but it's true) women are irrational and emotionally driven. It wouldn't matter to her that my intentions are innocent. My point is that it shouldn't matter if she can tell what my intentions are, she shouldn't be reading my texts anyway. - 6 months ago
I knew that you wouldn't show them to her. There's that little voice telling you that you'll get your ass kicked. BTW. There's a poll in the relationship section asking if flirty/suggestive texts to ex-girlfriends is cheating. So far it's 3 to 0 against you. Seems that text cheating exists in more people's minds than you think. Not just the irrational, emotional girls.
Own up man. If you're hiding it then it's wrong. Text cheating exists and you learned something new. - 6 months ago
No, it is not "Text Cheating. " It's called being playful. I don't believe in calling anything cheating except actual, physical cheating. It looks to me at this point that you are reading only what you want to hear out of my replies while ignoring the point I'm trying to make. That's fine, but I'm not going to argue with you anymore.
Also, you keep making this "she should kick you out on the curb" statement. She lives in MY house. If anything, she'd end up on the street for invading my privacy. - 6 months ago
I'm reading your replies pretty well. You're trying to justify suggestive text messages to exes as harmless. And the poll says. You're a cheater. LOL. You lose. Nyah, nyah!
BTW. Al Capone called. He's looking for his hat:) - 6 months ago
It sounds to me like there is a little hostility towards women here. That remark you made about women being irrational and emotionally driven will really get you far in your relationship. My feeling is this; if you text your ex, and have to hide it because she would get upset, that's going down the same road as cheating. It may not be cheating in the physical sense, but emotionally, its the same thing! You are introducing an element of mistrust into your relationship. - 6 months ago
Confront him. Then kick him to the curb. Better still, don't go away overnight but don't tell him 'til the last second. Then stay tight to his side and enjoy the action. The ex will be in a state wondering what's up and trying to get hold of him. Let him suffer and then kick him to the curb.
Yea definitely I had this problem with my girlfriend 2 I looked at her phone and it had a message to her ex saying I love you baby I was pissed but didn't know if I should bring it up but later that night I asked about it I couldn't stop thinking about it so I knew I had to ask.
I guess you could give him one night of the most mind blowing sex he's ever had and then I bet he'd totally forget about the sex he had with his ex. Then see if the texts continue. If so, dump his ass.
Don't be anybody's fool. Tell him what you know and let him know how you feel. It doesn't seem like he deserves you. Let him go back to his ex, and find someone better. He doesn't deserve you if he's going to be unfaithful and dishonest. I think it would be best for you to break up and find someone else. Because what he's doing to you is just wrong. No girl should stay with a cheating boyfriend. I say confront him, and give him a piece of your mind. I hope that helps you. Best of luck to you, and have fun wherever it is you're going.
Hell yeah you should confront him! If he gets mad at the fact that you looked through his phone...tough SH*T ya know? You don't deserve that crap I'd kick his sorry ass to the curb, but that's just me. Good luck and stay strong!
Of course you need to dump your cheating, lying boyfriend. I'm guessing there were trust issues before in your relationship (which is why you read his text messages). But now there are HUGE trust issues, and they will never go away. So cut the cord asap. And if it were me, I'd do it without any confrontation or explanation. Just call him and tell him it's over, finally and forever, and then refuse to speak with him again. Guys HATE that. But it's what he deserves.
I think if they're planning on hooking up over this time that you're gone that you need to confront him about it or you're more then likely going to get cheated on. Sure, he might be mad that you read his texts, but you should be more mad that he's still sneaking around with his ex.
me and my boyfriend have been dating 2mths without anything going wrong I mean nothing no fights arguments until he just started txt his ex's and...
View Answers
My boyfriend has a child with his ex and they currently share custody.they are really close friends and still text each other .he says just to see how...
View Answers
(Age:Under 18)
When: 6 months ago
