My boyfriend used to lie to me-a lot. I didn’t know about it because we lived in different cities but when he came home for visits and eventually moved home and we bought a house together, it was a real problem. I should also mention this isn’t the only girl issue we have had. But it is the biggest issue. It goes back a ways...When he was home on visits there was a person named “Chris” (that is what it would come up in his phone) that would text him all the time. He was really protective of his cell phone, which made me worry because I had never dated a guy like that so I would look (not right I know). The texts were obviously from a girl but I never said anything until they started saying dirty things. He does talk to his guy friends jokingly about that stuff so when he made up this elaborate story about Chris I believed him. I continued to snoop (not proud) because something told me I needed to. I was right. Chris was actually Kristin and she and he had a thing before we met. I was so hurt because he had made up such a lie that I really struggled to recover—especially when she herself said they had had sex 3 weeks ago when she thought she was talking to him and I was probing (again, not proud). He said she was lying because she wanted him and in small towns girls are horrifying and make up stories to get guys they want if they are in relationships. Again, I believed him but all trust was gone by this time. I was truly hurt and he quit talking to her for awhile because I was going to leave otherwise—maybe I should have but we had a house together by this point. I was the bigger person and never confronted her in public even though I am very good friends with her sister now (I am not from the town they all are). She has never even attempted to apologize but still texts my boyfriend and calls him “honey.” She has no respect for me and I have told him that if he respected me he would stop talking to her but he says she is a friend and I need to get over it. I just can’t. I trust him again for the most part but I still question it because to be honest, I am not sure if she was lying. I have never been so hurt and I am expected to just forget the most horrible thing someone could say “I slept with your man.” But don’t worry, she isn’t a home wrecker—her words anyway. She is now sleeping with another girl’s husband who has a baby. Quite a girl. Anyway, should I be OK and move on from this? Should I let him talk to her or just move on? We fight about it at least once a month because she enjoys making me miserable, in my opinion. Help…. He is a good boyfriend but just doesn’t get it. When they do talk or when he used to talk to a lot of other girls there were issues with how he would talk to them that made it worse. Guess I am old fashioned and don’t think it is right for a guy with a girlfriend to talk dirty to other girls…I’ll leave it at that. If I could get help helping him understand why this girl and this type of talk hurts me I would really appreciate it.
"He's a good boyfriend"? No he's not. Sorry but if you can't trust the guy then no he's not a good boyfriend at all. I would move on from this guy. It's clear he doesn't respect you nor does he respect himself. Time to move on and realize he is not worth it.
Ok, it isn't that I don't trust my boyfriend (at this point anyway, didn't before) but I DO NOT trust this girl at all. Sorry, kind of went off about him when my real question is should I be ok with him talking to her. She makes me so uncomfortable that it makes me sick to think that he still talks to her. He said it is only when she texts him and usually asking how things are going--but that still just kills me. Do I put my foot down and say no more or learn to live with it? Am I overreacting? - 2 months ago
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 2 months ago
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